No canes!

One day, as I went to school to fetch the kids home, korkor pointed to me quietly to show me how didi kicked meimei's bag together with a little boy. I was so pissed that I just wanted explode right there!

On the way home, korkor who knows to read my body language and facial expressions, asked me "didi is doomed, right?". I just kept my cool and continued on driving. As I was driving, I was thinking how to teach that little fella when we get home.

Truth be told, I was really so mad that I just wanna cane that fella up. But the drive home, albeit a short one, cooled me down a bit, and it gave me some time to think about the point in doing that. I read in a mama's blog that it's SO not right to cane or spank a child when he/she did wrong as they are so vulnerable. Guilty as charged. *head hanging down*

Trying as hard as I may, I pushed myself further to think of other alternatives to punish him for that wrongdoing of his. I ought to refrain from laying a finger on them, as I promised to myself. And then, *ding* a lightbulb moment appeared.

Once back home, I told the other two to get their showers while didi was to wait for my instructions. Took out all the stuffs in ALL 3 bags, and passed a wet towel to didi, telling him to clean them up! He quietly and obediently scrubbed meimei's bag while I ran around the house doing other chores.

On and off, he would yell for me to check if the bag is cleaned up yet. When I went to check, I started my lecture on why he was being punished.

Lecture on life's choices and the consequences that he has to face. He chose to kick and dirty his sister's bag when prompted by the other boy. I asked him it's the right or wrong thing to do. He answered that it's wrong. I asked him again what he could have done. He replied he didn't know. I told him to think about it while he continued scrubbing.

After some 2 mins or so, he told me he has the answer. He said he could have NOT kicked it. I asked him, then what else could he have done. He tried with "tell you?". After a few Q&A and prompting, I said he could have told the other boy off for even suggesting to kick and dirty his own meimei's bag. So, in fact, he had done 2 wrongs for the day! I asked him if he understood what I mean, and he nodded his head and said "yeah..."

His eyes went misty and I wondered if he had indeed learnt his lesson or just felt pissy with me for punishing him like this. I then told him to scrub korkor's and his own bag and get showered.

This certainly felt much better than giving him a good caning on his butts, whether or not it's more effective or less. And I pondered to myself, a moment of cooling down and thinking makes a whole lot difference than doing the impromptu of getting hold a cane and showing him the pain of his action right there and then. So, it just takes a little effort to learn to control our own temper when it flares.

Next time, when he's done anything wrong again, I would pass him a wet towel and get him on all fours to scrub the floor for me.

That way, I get the floors cleaned! This time, I have 3 awesome clean bags!