2026 and i'm here again

 Blink eye, Chak! 2026 d.

This year, J is not back for CNY. The things we do and eat are about the same, year in year out... 

Reflecting back to the past year, there were some passing away and we shifted home. As we settled in the new home, I found myself taken aback slightly with a sudden shift in my strength and wellbeing. It's quite true, I can be at this "strong and healthy" and then "weak and sick" the next. That's life. So unpredictable and sudden. 

Anyhow I'm grateful it's nothing serious but getting to know Pei pei battling cancer the past year had been more of a serious blow to me. Like, what are the odds? Both of us are so similar in everything and yet, this hit her and it hit her hard. What would I do if that's me? I am drilling in my own head to accept my fate. After all, is there anything I have yet to achieve? My priority is just the kids and seeing them all well and grown up, I guess my purpose in life is done deal, I am satisfied and happy d. 

I find solace in my blog, recounting my memories and the good 20 past years of my motherhood life, though sometimes I do write rubbish. 

My Friday favorite time of the week

 Long ago, I used to look forward to every Friday 5.30pm. I would rush to prepare dinner and settle all that was needed to be done before 4.30pm, rejecting every other unnecessary appointments or any other matter that would hinder me from my 5.30pm slot. I would tell the kids to be ready at the pick up point latest by 4.45pm else my fury would be unleashed on them without mercy. It was memorable indeed LOL. 

What went on at 5.30pm on Fridays? It was Zumba time! It just felt different anyhow. The feeling of a week's work done and dusted, letting my hair down and have a good time, my version of rave and clubbing time. It was definitely my ME time. 

Ever since I had the liberty of time, the routine had been changed and I am not so crazy about it anymore. But the feeling and memory of it lingers still, and once in a blue moon, I would go and enjoy it again and that nostalgia feeling...*close eyes and savor*

Travel bugs biting

Very quickly, it was time to send J back to airport, like it was just yesterday we went to the same place to pick him up. The airport was busy, I guess with holiday makers and also people like J who came back for the CNY.

I'm not sure if it's the "empty nest" feeling or being at the airport again, I feel the travel bugs are biting. The last long distance travel I had was to Croatia in April 2024, and funnily, after that trip, I was almost contented with being at home for the rest of the year, even though I heard many of my friends traveling everywhere throughout the whole year. A short trip to Perhentian with Chloe in June was a nice little break and the rest of the year was focused on my newfound job. 

This year, I like to travel more. To Singapore visit my brother, Chloe and friends. To penang visit my old colleagues and old friends. Back to hometown more to visit mom and dad. Also to US to visit Joshua. And if time and money allows, I'd like to go Switzerland too. Korkor suggested a holiday with mom and dad together, the only barrier is to convince mom to go along. She is just too worried and concerned about feeling unwell during travels and pulling everyone down. Sigh...

Balik kampung, reunions, feasts and mahjongs

 That about sums up what CNY is.

Almost 25years of CNYs after marriage, the current phase is welcoming the kids home from abroad and having the whole family together once again. This year sees J bringing a gf home. I thought I would just be chill but find myself scrutinizing her subtly from top to toe trying to figure out if she's cut out to be my daughter-in-law. Guess that was what happened when I was brought to MIL's birthday dinner the very first time. 

On the way to airport to pick them up, hubs and myself had this conversation of what makes a good wife. He shared something he heard over YouTube about these values. 

1. Emotionally stable. A wife who demands a lot of attention and explanations for her hub's actions all the time are pretty much exhaustive and intoxicating to her other half. 

I think it works both ways.

2. Values need to be in line. For e.g. if one works hard to save for rainy days while the other spends lavishly and only live for the moment... Well, not to say can't work... But sanfu. 

3. I forgot....

Let's keep it at that for the moment

One and only post for 2024 and the year in brief

 Seems like someone is reading my musings here.. *wave*

... And asking why I'm so lazy to update this page. *Roll eyes*

Oh my! Suddenly I'm like compelled to find something to talk about and entertain her. Or enlighten her? Encourage? Stimulate? Inspire? Well, one or the other, I hope. 

2024 is coming to an end! 2025 already! What a year it has been. I am having a good run, taking on a new job and having some extra pocket money to spend. To top it off, it's nice to have people leaving a positive note after a class. 

Everyone's in the family are healthy and happy (I hope!), that's the most important, of course. I am counting my blessings. 

To summarize the year 2024 it was, 

1. Visit Venice and Croatia

2. Dived into reformer pilates teaching, starting something entirely new in my age. Everyone is saying why I'm going into work while generally, everyone else (my age) are thinking about retiring. But also I have few friends personally dropping me a message how brave and admirable it is to do this. Aww... So sweet. 

3. Blessed to find an employer who provides training and mentorship so I could continuously learn, improve and be the best of the best (I hope, fingers crossed!)

4. Moving to a new house! And there'll be a garden. I'll be missing the place I have been staying in more than 10 years now, especially the commute, as it's so convenient. But definitely not missing the waiting part for the lifts and lugging things up with hundred and so bags on my shoulders and elbows. *Grin*

5. And of course, happy with the kids getting along well in their lives (well, I certainly hope so!) in their work life, study life, love life. That's really the biggest, bestest blessing for me. 

Letter for baby gurl

From this moment on, life for you will be a whole new experience. Home although will always be your home, but it will only play a supporting role, same for family as we take on a back seat cheering you on and wishing all the very best going your way. 

Coming near to 19 years under our wings, it is a good time to spread yours and fly. We are sure it will be a beautiful and exciting journey ahead. I do hope we have done good, if not bad, raising you up and becoming the person you are now. I can't help wishing we could have done better, any shortcomings you have are entirely made from how we brought you up with our very own imperfect ways of parenting. With that, I am truly sorry. I can only hope you would be able to recognize them and make amendments as you find your ground.

From a very young age, I have always been protective of your feelings. Knowing you are a sensitive person, often times I find it tough to find the right words to say, and even not saying anything doesn't go well with you. God knows how much struggle it is for me to do/say the right thing and in the end, most times I would just sweep it under the carpet and pray for the best. 

However, I can't say we didn't fare that bad being mommy and papa. Maybe a 6/10 score? We do, and that I know for sure, have your best interest at heart and love you to all the moons in the multiverse and back. that is 10/10, no doubt about it. I hope that is enough. I hope that you know. 

We hope you will find joy and fun in your varsity life, while it also would be a pressure cooker, I believe. Don't fret. We believe in you. As I have always said, you will never disappoint us for you have achieved so much already, we are already proud of you in everything that you do, for you give all your best. That's most important to us. Learn to manage your stress, and always believe in yourself. Nothing in life is worth losing yourself or sleep. As always, do your best and that's enough. Comes what may, life would iron out itself and everything will be a past, be it good or bad. Live life with no regrets. Just as I have not an ounce of regret having the greatest chance to see you grow up everyday from the day you were born. The past 20+ years of my life has been the most fulfilling and memorable time of my life.

With now flown away from the nest, making new friends, getting used to new living space, don't forget to share your moments with us. Drop us a line or two, share some pictures with us, tell us about your new life. We would always be happy and delighted to hear from you, and always looking forward to the next time we meet. Papa never says it much but he really missed those times you would run to him for a hug when he comes home from work everyday, and that was the joy and energy which kept him going. I hope the relationship you have with him will flourish better when you are away now. To him, you are his most precious baby darling, that I know for sure. 

Whee~ she got in to a prestigious uni!

The good news sank in only hours later and we couldn't stop smiling and feeling proud of her offer getting into the uni of her choice. It's rather unbelievable, as we would have thought being rejected by another uni which is a lesser ranking, this higher ranking one would be surely no hope. But, she made it in, and we would surely support her though we had to forego the idea of buying and moving into a landed property for the moment.

Ah... I suppose the empty nest would not be so bad, she will be just an hour's flight away and I could relax not having to worry about her safety at all. With just around 2 months' away, we are mentally preparing ourselves for the move. Feelings are so mixed, sometimes I would think this is the part where they really leave the home and just come back for holidays. Just like me la. 

However, seeing how tense sometimes things could be between parents and children, I always advocate kids should leave home and go out explore the world when they are at this age. It's better for all of us. And from there on, I hope the relationship between parents and children would be better and stronger that way.

It will be just my hubs and me soon! My coping mechanism is thinking the places we could go and some new stuffs we could do during weekends, how exciting!