Recollecting my thoughts

Just for the records, the past few days had been rather pleasant, albeit a little bit confused with contradictory thoughts playing, rewinding and playing again in my mind.

I think it had been quite sometime since the last when we had stayed around in KL for the longest weekend break there is. 5 days. It seemed weird banker hanging around stepping on my toes for that long.

The dinner with our VIP guests turned out ok. Too much food on the table, about 8 dishes for 12 of us, old and young, all inclusive. I cooked 4 while the rest were brought over by them. Yes, there were char-siew and grilled chicken wings. Her Majesty commented the char siew could use more sugar for marinating. I admit I was slightly disappointed that the effort to "fish" for some nice comments came to null. It came from His Majesty though, telling everyone the chicken wings was good, well marinated. And that feels good. Is saying something nice about someone's cooking so difficult? Or it hurts that I can cook? blek!

The other 2 dishes were assam nyonya prawns with different kinds of veggies, which was almost untouched, until the end, when I noticed that she did picked a few more to munch on. And the other is what they called "the-big-4-kings". She commented I should have fried the brinjal so it would be soft inside and not hard as it was then. Sigh! OK, maybe I should take these comments constructively, huh?

What they brought over was a crispy duck, pork leg, roast pork (which was saved for another day), choy sum fah, and fish where we steamed it with grind ginger. Not one was finished up, in fact when we were done, the table looked as if dinner was just to start. What a total waste of food!

I could have saved my time and energy in the first place. But there were really several reasons why I did what I did. I genuinely wanted to cook something for them in return, for all the meals that she had done for us when we went back home. I too, wanted to show off, that my name is not Lulu, that I can cook as well. How would I possibly look like to serve just plain rice to them, right? And to have thought over, planned, arranged days before that day, it came sort of a failed mission to touch their hearts.

After cleaning up and hanging around at home, with the "cheerful" sounds of mahjong, TV, children voices, it was time to open christmas gifts. Oh yeah, we finally did make it to try giving them a memorable christmas with us, and banker told me to get them the gifts in the morning. I was very excited at the thought of shopping, but with time constraint, I couldn't browse around more to get the nicest gift I can possibly get for them each.

In the end, it was clothes for all the ladies and socks for the 2 men. And the children have building blocks to play with, didi is thoroughly enjoying himself each day playing with it. I am thrilled to see that actually.

My mom loved the blouse I got for her, apparently, mother and daughter do have the same taste, almost, at least. BUT, for the other "mother", it's just almost definite that what I like seems like what she doesn't like, vice versa. I should have bought her the worst looking dress I think, going by that logic. But how could I do that? In the end, I picked what I think the best looking blouse for her, something which I thought I would love to be in too, but as it is, in the end, I don't think she had liked it. It was rather obvious with the expression in her face when she opened the gift. I do hope I'm wrong though. To be honest, it's really upsetting. When you hope to just get a simple beaming smile in return, it's truly... what a sigh!

The next day we went to Crab Island, and the weather was really in our favor, without the hot sun, just good enough to walk around without even an umbrella. Perfect. That made everyone in a good mood, especially when the whole entourage was there, without any absentees. Even when one who might not choose to be there but obliged to just because..

I'm not much of a hypocrite person, I show much of how I feel inside on the outside. That might be good but yet, can be disastrous at times. I can't imagine how stressful it is to put up a good show all the freaking time. Then again, for some, it could be a good thing, especially for filial sons.

We talked about this, apparently what I think doesn't seem to be what he thinks. It makes me frustrated indeed. Am I not good enough? Then again, I think about how scary it is to be seeing face to face with someone who is not what she might seems to be. Makes no sense, right? I think that's the intention.

We had a great seafood lunch and were home by evening. It was good I managed to steal a quick nap in the car on the way home, something which rarely comes by nowadays.

The next day we took them to Cheras Yulek famous charsiew wanton mee. Then dropped by at Sg Wang where everyone had something home, the simple yet effective way to end a short break happily. They packed their bags and went back after a late lunch, leaving the mess to me, which I don't mind really, as most importantly, I did have a good time as well. I did, but just some question marks always hovering on my head following me around. And it's these times I would ctrl-alt-del to think deeply in my thoughts. BUT, this time around, I chose to spill it out, let it out of my system. I guess I know who I want myself to be in the end. I chose to be myself.