New chapter, away from home at last

 Dear Adrian, 

And so with a heavy heart, I sent you off to your new chapter in your life, a home away from home. I am both saddened yet excited and elated, and I am sure you are too (unsure if you feel any sadness). 

It had been a very difficult time for all of us, you especially. All the toxicity, as you put it, and "bully" you had to endure. I cry as I am typing this, I wished we all could have done better to give you a happier time before you set off leaving the nest. Truthfully, it pains me more than you could imagine. 

This past few, weeks? months? I don't even know, had been ugly that I looked forward to this day. Yet, my heart... I have wanted to give you a good hug before we said goodbye, yet I didn't as you were so distant, so cold, so "can't wait to see us off" as you said ok bye. I felt angry, upset, sad, where my sweet child who had been the love of my life? Where did he go? Why did he change to this? Did we make him to what he is today?

I can only fall back on to the notion that what I have for you is all unconditional love. I love you with all my heart and spleen and liver and kidney all. I am grateful of the wonderful years when you were small, so adorable, so close to me, so happy, so.. you. Yes, it has not been easy either as you have a character of a rock but I could only remember the good times, I will forever hold dear to my heart closely. 

Moving on, I know you can do well, as you can set your mind to it, it's just a matter of you want or do not want to. So, I wish you all the very best and that you fly high, you find your peace and joy and you understand we all here are just rooting for you and wish you nothing but the best for you. 

The door back home is always open for you, it will never shut off to you, remember that. Come back home when you feel weary, when you need support or never mind if there is no other reason to be back. You will forever be welcomed home, and you will always be my baby from the very first day you were born till my very last breath.

Sigh.. wouldn't have thought I would still feel the empty nest syndrome, but oh yes, it's still happened alright. Miss you lots.

Mommy.