Thoughts on qing ming.

On the topic of filial piety, qing ming, knowing your roots, ancestors and keeping the tradition of tomb cleaning and gathering the whole family up, everyone has different thoughts on this.

Mine is such an opposite from my hubs. He thinks that it's very important that this tradition is kept alive for generations to come and that it's a good opportunity for the whole clan to come gather together to keep the family bond intact.

For me, it's really in the heart. If you love someone or miss someone deeply, you don't need a specific day to clean the tomb or do the whole works.

Korkor asked me that day when we were crawling slowly in a traffic standstill to his great grandparents grave, how I would like to be handled after I die. I told him it's entirely up to him, he could keep my ashes or put it in a columbarium or scatter it in the sea, depending how he wants to keep me in his memory or how much hassle he wants to undertake. I asked him if he would miss me, he said of course he would. Then I said, that's enough said, keeping me in his heart forever sounds great for me already.

In fact, my mom told me before of her wishes when that day comes she breathes her last. She said she wished her ashes to be scattered over the sea so her soul could travel around the 4 oceans. She said she didn't want it to be a burden for the younger generation to make an exodus home and subject to unnecessary risks on the road just for her, who would be already not in this world anyway. What is the need to celebrate if the celebration of life is not done when one is alive anyway?

I truly echoes her words of wisdom, guess maybe as a daughter, I am more inclined to follow my mother's footsteps and thoughts, especially when it seems to be more logical and selfless.

But my hubs said no way. It's vital that his sons come and pray for him just like what's he's doing, what his grandparents are doing right now, and not only that, they should pray for their grandparents' and their great grandparents' (current one we go to during qingming) bringing their whole family, children and grandchildren too!! My gawd! Such a BIG task to undertake! I'd say, good luck to you, hubs!