A wake and a funeral

Last weekend was a very sad one for me. Not only me.

It was on a Friday morning I received a call to tell me that he was at the hospital and wasn't looking promising. The doctors had summoned my close good buddy (his wife) and his families to gather round him. Several minutes later, I was told he passed away.

Needless to say, I broke down in tears, several 200kms away from my close buddy. I made a few calls to a few of our closer friends and made plans to travel over for his wake and funeral, to be there for his wife and give her moral support and big huge hugs.

I decided that night I had to go back up north earlier and took the train home on Sat afternoon instead of Sun morning. It wasn't very difficult arranging how the kids to be babysat. Thank Lord for hubs' cousin sisters whom the kids absolutely adore and his brother who took care of their first 2 meals of the day. Bless them.

I realized this was the very first wake/ funeral of someone in the "friends" league and they had only had 6 marriage years together. It was devastating. But I know I should be encouraging my friend to be strong and not be a wretch (which I probably would have looked that night from the amount of tears flowing helplessly)

She gave a very warm and touching eulogy to her dear husband and I salute her for holding back those tears. Meanwhile I sat at the back, sobbing and continuously wiping away the tears until I feel the tinge of pain from all those rubbing. Thank goodness I carry a pack of wet tissues around and figured out it's more comforting to use rather than those dry ones.

At the last part of the wake, we were invited to walk round the coffin led by the family members. I felt reluctant to go but the other friend urged me along. That was the emotional moment when all those tears flowed uncontrollably from everyone who attended. We shook hands with my friend's family members, gave hugs to the grieving wife and cried together with them.

After that, some refreshment was served and she joined us, the few of us from varsity days to chat for awhile  and even made some jokes herself. I so love this woman. She's really special in her own ways.

I had to make a quick run at that time cause my parents were waiting for me after a dinner with a few relatives somewhere else. That night, I didn't sleep well, needless to say.

The next morning, hubs with 3 more friends arrived in Ipoh. I joined them for breakfast and then we moved to the church grounds again for the funeral proceedings.

My friend looked more worn out than the night before, probably exhausted and didn't have any good night's sleep or probably the day of sending him off forever was here. We cried even more that time and proceeded to accompany them as much as possible, making a round to their home, then to the burial ground, followed by a lunch provided by the church, and finally back to her home before returning back to KL.

How I wish I could have stayed on for her. But unfortunately, I can't as I have commitments towards my family, my children. I do hope she's ok. It's not going to be easy, being a single parent to a young son who's only 3 this year.

Many feelings ran across my mind those 2 days. I was wondering if my presence would make any difference to my friend? If fussing over her would helped to ease her pain? What can I do to help her? Why those people who know her didn't show up? Is it not important anymore as they aren't close now even though they had been close before?

From there, I deduce, just be there. No words would ever comfort the grief enough, but being there made a whole lot of difference. And it doesn't matter if you are close before or now, it's a show of respect to the deceased and the huge moral support of being there in existence make the difference to the ones who are still living. I could be wrong, but I am certainly sure I am so glad I made it home that Saturday night. Just not brave enough to step up to give a tribute to him. Because I believe noone would understand what I would be talking about either as it would be totally drown in sobs.

RIP, Uncle Paul (as affectionately known by his nephews)

Slow and steady won't win the race!

How do you train a child to work faster?

Dammit! It's so nerve-wrecking to see didi moving and doing things soooooo slowwwwwwwlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Especially in the mornings when he prepares for school. It takes forever for him to get done. What, he just needs to pee, brush his teeth, get himself out from the pyjamas go into shower and get dressed! In that time he does all those "stints", I would have prepared breakfast, snacks, tie up meimei's hair into a bum and get changed myself!

I have tried coaxing him, encouraging him nicely, to yelling my head off at him and totally putting my hands up in surrender mode, but he still remains nonchalant and at his comfortable slow, steady, snail pace. Every other tasks too. Except snatching korkor's packet drink in his hand or a gadget with games apps.

I have already incorporated a "fine" system, where by certain time he doesn't appear in his school uniform, it would be RM1. Then, by 7.20am, he has to be at the door else another RM1. By the rate I"m counting, I have collected 5 bucks already. Ish! This little guy is making me crazy already!

Petrosains KLCC

Picture took at Petrosains and sent via email to my inbox. Seen here, papa and meimei were exploring this app.

We finally made our maiden visit to that place, after a prolonged delay of x weeks.

It was somewhere in an exhibition fair that we applied for the membership to Petrosains, paying only RM50 for unlimited access for all 5 of us. It also applies to the Science Center in Singapore, and hearing this, both of us just jumped at the opportunity, regardless if we were to make a trip down south this year or not. If this membership includes the Science Center in Mont Kiara area would be awesome, but, oops, they had withdrawn themselves from this program and thus, is not the best deal ever.

Nevertheless, Petrosains is the place for children to have some fun. In the midst of a tight schedule on a Sunday, we were still able to rush over at 4+ and hang around until they closes at 6.30pm. The kids' joy were dashed, but we promised to take them there again. Sure would since we wanna make full use of the membership.

I think the mock up of the oil rig is pretty cool. And to see a life sized cabin for its crew, it's an eye-opener for me.

Yes, we would be there again... just don't know when!

Genting short getaway 2011

Before end of last year's school holidays came to its end, we went uphill to enjoy the cool air and with much intention to spend the whole of the day outdoors, letting the kids run wild with the rides to their hearts' content.

We would have gone early in the morning, but as habits die hard, we only leave home much much later than we wanted to.

On the way, around the Batu Caves area, we had roti canai as breakfast, their absolute favorite, but seldom gets to enjoy as mommy (me) prohibits!

It's the sugar that both of them love!

While korkor starts to appreciate the curry, but would still want the sugar sometimes.

As we get there later than we hoped to, plus the time to finally check in to First World Hotel was like AGES, it was half a day gone already!

I pestered hubs to get the tickets for the outdoors anyway, but unfortunately it was drizzling and many rides were closed. In fact, the ticket counter was closed for the outdoors!

Furthermore, we could see from where we were, the crowd outside was EVERYWHERE! and the queues to all available rides were very very long!

So, no point buying the tickets in anyway. What a sad story.

In the end, we just lepak around the First World indoor park until hubs finally get tickets for them to have a go at the bumper car, one time each.

Making funny and boring faces while we wait around, with absolutely nothing much to do.

The queue was quite long too for meimei. She was happy to be going alone, and need to wait like 3 rounds for hers? Meanwhile, I can't find any available place to sit down since there were so many parents alike waiting for their child to finish their work. Sigh! Parents these days are really giving too much!

After she was done, we hurried up to upstairs for the boys and there they were, still in line for their turns! They gave me their very sad looking faces showing their dissatisfaction for just a little bit of fun. It didn't seem like a very enjoyable holiday indeed. :(

We then strolled over to the center of the indoor park and already, a performance was going on. Meimei and I stood there to watch these very pretty girls showing their strut, giving a very delightful and brilliant showcase of dance and little bit of gymnastics. Both of us then had a very enjoyable time watching a live performance like this. And it's FREE!

(I learned much much later, these girls are trained from the same club where meimei's gym coach is from. That means, they are good!)

Then, we had a clown performance which brought some smiles to our faces. It was good enough, much better than lingering around with nothing to do.

After which two acrobats came on and gave a very admirable performance. My hunch, they came from China.
Meanwhile, hubs and the boys went to get their hands on the tickets of the gala show for the evening.
2 were FOC, given by his parents who were in turn given by the Genting resort for their "loyalty". Hubs bought another 2 and said that one have to sneak in.

Why, I really dislike this kind of habit of his. I just hate the confrontation at the entrance when they would be stopping us and asking to show where the 5th ticket for the 5th person is. I rather be the person who stay in the hotel room and let them watch. But hubs wouldn't hear of that. He wants everyone to go and he wants to take a chance to get the 5th person in for free. What the..

But it was stated there, ALL audience MUST buy a ticket to enter, including child above . Yerrr.... and he must argue with me, if they insisted, then he would go buy la! EEYER!!!!

Is it just me? Am I abnormal?

Anyway, all went in, with 4 tickets and hubs must show his smart alec face to me.The problem is, I would feel thrilled too to save on 1 piece of ticket, and to think eh, not cheap leh, can buy a good lunch from that amount of money too. hmmph! Geram still!

I don't know about the kids, but I had a good time watching this show. There were some moments of funny jokes and made me laugh too, but I suspect the hubs and the kids didn't quite understand what the joke was as apparently, I seemed to be the only one having a good laugh, eh?

When we were there waiting for the show to start, I can't help remembering the first time I had been to this venue. It was, almost like our first date, and hubs, then bf, had tried to surprise me with a gala dinner and show together, but wasn't successful since he had to go get the tickets in Penang before our trip. It was quite the lavish dinner he spent on me that time. Still pak toh mah.. oh, those old days...

The 2nd time was during our company sales presentation trip when I was with Bayer group of chemicals. The bosses were very generous to us, giving us free stay, great dinners and 1st class seats for these shows. But I didn't get to enjoy the trips until the sales presentation was over. They made us, sales reps, to present the year's performance and the plan for the next year. I hate all these crap meetings. Can't they just let us enjoy ourselves? Well, that's why I left the workforce. I really dislike working, I admit. bleh.

Back to our family trip for the year 2011, that wrapped up the old year and to embrace the new one. What? april already ah? Aiyah, too late for april fool.

Kids do not know what else to do when there's no iPad or iPhone.

Yesterday's public holiday saw us lazing around at home in the morning, having toasted bread, fruit juice, biscuits, milk, cereal for breakfast and homemade sushi for lunch. By noontime, I spent some time going through some school workbooks with all 3 of them and finally send them off to relax after a couple of hours or so.

Korkor went off to his friend's home to do a movie together, hearsay for a competition. Hubs and I went off to BTS to send the iPad for fixing.

Speaking of iPad, the screen was cracked during the journey home on the train back to Ipoh. Had I insisted that the iPad is to be left at home with us that fateful day, it wouldn't have to come to this state. I was so angry with him. He propped it up in front of his seat like watching movie in a mini cinema, I can't visualize how, and when the train braked, it fell to the ground and *piang* the glass broke.

So, he called up a few shops to change the glass screen, and one quoted RM780! Both of us were shocked at that exorbitant price!

Anyway, he found one who charges RM180 for it, but when it came back, the wifi was konked.

Hence we resent it back to have that fixed. And the hubs had just unlock the password and gave it to the unknown stranger to have it done! Can you imagine the shocked face of mine?

Die la! All the "private" info and photos are at the expense of this stranger! I just don't understand how come the hubs is not concerned at all!!

(OK, that was also part of the reason I came home and changed certain passwords to my inbox, facebook, and what else there are. So while I was at it, I changed the online nick, blog title as well, since I'm pretty tired of it! Nice, eh?)

While we were outside lepak-ing, the younger 2 called up and cried boredom! Oh, they were home since my mom is around right now, and I don't quite fancy taking them to shopping malls since they would be crying boredom anyway.

When they were complaining they were bored, I mean, c'mon, what is this?? Schoolday complain boredom jiao wa jek, holiday also complain??

I blame it on the tech gadgets. At that time, the iPhone and iPad were out gaigai with us, so they had nothing to play with! And it's such a bad thing to happen to a child!

Whatever happened to imagination and creative play? OK, I am to blame partly, but I always resigned with a big sigh when I see papa always chucking those gadgets right in their faces! Oh.. I do hate these new inventions, really!

So, that night when I climbed into bed with them before their bedtime, I ranted about the feeling I had to them. These gadgets are good, if it's used sparingly, but when it is abused, see the effect? It is totally killing their creative thinking for play! Yucks!

Didi at 9yo

Look at the set of teeth! Notice something in there?

There was this front tooth which took a darn long time to come out and when it did, like almost 2 years, this is it??!

Not so hansem anymore, huh? :(

Pesta Gimnastik Gym for Life.

Meimei's first competition, representing her school in a team category.

It was all fun for them, and parents were beaming with pride and glory at their little tumbletots for this honour.

The arena, as seen above, has a few sections, and only participants, coaches, judges were allowed to linger around this area. The bottom right was where all the action take place.

We, the supporters, were left to fend for ourselves at the upper floor. I first thought it would be something like an indoor stadium with proper seats for best viewing experience, but how disappointed I was. There wasn't any seats, it was humid and warm and some corners had views with banners which blocked the targeted view. It was not comfortable for us at all.

There seemed to be some regulars for these sort of competitions who came fully prepared with lunch boxes, picnic mats, bottles of water and there was even a mother who bought some books to read with the younger children! It was such an eye opener for me.

Some had been around since the morning, while didi and I hopped over roughly around 1+pm with our packs of McD burgers and fries.

It didn't take long for meimei's team to perform and it was such a good one! At least to us, the hardcore supporters for that team.

While many other teams had cheers and clapping when their team name was called, ours was rather quiet. Showed how far the school gave their moral support. I made a mental note to talk to the principal about this if we would have another competition of this nature again.

After the girls finished their stunts, we hurried down to the arena and take pictures with them and the coach. Yeah, we weren't allowed to linger around there, I had said, but we sneaked in anyway.

Thereafter, it was just all wait and wait and wait... until all the 16 teams had performed. By around 5, we started to wait for the prize giving ceremony. Meanwhile some gymnasts gave a superb entertainment from the National Team, with freehand, ball, rope and hoop individually. Watching these gymnasts always been amazing to me, what with the live performance, it was all the more mind blowing. I wonder if meimei can even come close to these level.

Then again, when I was back home googling about the works of rhythmic gymnastics, it really involves too much sacrifices. These girls go on a very strict diet to keep their weight light and go for long hours of training everyday. Undoubtedly, I would prefer my girl to live a healthy life and take in the nutrients she so needed in her growing up years. So, no-no, being able to learn a few tricks in this field is good enough, it's ok not to be a shining star.

When the performance ended, the time we all awaited was finally here and the teams were called in one by one to take to the main carpeted area. Then the awards were given out one by one and oh boy! it took like 1 full long hour to get to the end part! It was so excruciating to watch and dragged along in it till we could take our girls and just go home.

The last announcement for the team category was finally here. Meimei's team took home a bronze trophy, but what do you know, all 16 teams either took a gold or silver or bronze home anyway. *snigger*

But the girls indeed made us all the mamas proud for being chosen into the mother competition of all competitions coming in 3 months' time. They would be having another round of fun time again!

Meimei's Pri 1 ballet exam

This was her after the trial. She seemed pretty composed during the trial, which we were allowed to watch and that only comes once a year, so we had better enjoy that!

As the exam was drawing near, we, the moms or dads (which are rare to spot hanging around waiting for the girls) were the most ker-nian. There were extra classes and extra hours to further prep the girls for their exam day and on the last day of practice, we were made to wait for about 2 hours! Some were saying they hadn't have their dinner yet, some ranting oh boy, their bedtime would surely be midnight, what with the journey and the homework all not completed yet.

As for me, I really am thinking of persuading her to quit the ballet class and just focus on the rhythmic gymnastics. She is all teary-eyed and so sad-looking whenever I bring this up and would plead with me to let her stay on to the next grade. Grr... I can't be continuing like this, chauffeuring her around like a mad duck all the time, can I? And furthermore, the fees are so sky high, what with the extra add-ons like costumes, socks, shoes, this and that. This hobby is SO EXPENSIVE!

Girls are high maintenance!

And so we shall laugh a lot more from now.

I am sure many of us heard or seen personally too many a case about someone in our friends or family circle fighting the much dreaded cancer. If not, then you are very fortunate. Count your blessings.

The first time I saw someone very close to me battling for life was my 4th uncle who was very handsome, gentlemanly and loving to his family. Then again, I didn't see him much coz he wasn't staying at the same town as us.

Then, my closer aunt who spent many nights playing chor tai di with my 2-poh, my mom and I late into the nights when korkor was just a little toddler who would be sleeping soundly in the room, died of lung cancer after fighting for less than a year. I still remembered accompanying her when she discharged from the GH and the time when all of us gathered at her home.

These days, I have one close friend of mine whose husband is fighting for his life while another ex-coursemate is having the same fate.

While I wanted so much to show my concern, love and support to them, more often than not, I do not know how and what to say so they could feel better, albeit a little bit.

To show pity and sorrow would be the last thing they would ever wanted to hear, I believe.

To say that everything will be ok and God would take care of it, well, fark, how do I even know!?

To leave them alone, coz, you know, sometimes they might wanna be alone?

Whatever it is, it's so hard to find all the right things to say.

Today, my hubs told me a story.

You know Raymond Wong? The guy in HK who make funny movies that tug your heartstrings?

My hubs saw the other day, on TV, that Raymond had came up to talk about his wife who was diagnosed with cancer (probably cervical, if I'm not mistaken) circa 2000 or so. When she went into operation, the doctors found that the illness had spread too rapidly and couldn't be able to do anything for her and sent her home to wait.

The hubs, then bought a vacation house somewhere here in Mal, and would bring her often for relaxation. Meanwhile, he summoned his kids to bring cheer and laughter to her like every so often.

After about 9 months of laughing, they went back to the doctor and had a scan. Miraculously, they were told that the cancer cells had all shrunk and she was on the way to recovery. Much more later, she was given the all clear.

I think, the moral of this story is, probably the best thing to do or say to a patient is to make him/her laugh. That would be a little bit challenging, but at least I know now which direction to go when I want to meet or talk to my friends who are fighting this battle.

Laughter is truly the best medicine.

Time to change a key-less lock!

I am so darn furious with the hubs.

By 10pm last night when he reached home and asked me to open the door for him, I noticed that there wasn't any sight of his set of keys at home. So, where was it?

We searched high and low for it... no, make it, I was the only one panicking and ransacking the whole house to look for them, but to no avail. That guy? He just nonchalantly looking while watching his lousy tv series at the same time! Urgh!!! How to live with this guy?? Tell me!!

In the end, I found out the keys were with the guard post and the guard had picked it up right in front of our house entrance that morning itself.

So, what do you think we should do now?

The scoundrel said, "See? Told you it would be returned" and had the cheek to say everything's ok now.

Everything's NOT OK!

I am not that certain that the whole set of keys were missing and were in the hands of some strangers who knew EXACTLY what those keys are for, for the whole of 12 HOURS!

And I went on and on and on scolding and complaining and pulling my hair out and told him (not asked) that I would be changing the whole set of locks, no matter how much that would costs! It's blardy high time to teach him a lesson to be more careful with his set of keys the next time.

What do you think? What locks do you recommend? Any locksmith to recommend me?

Convocation pictures with didi

This evening had been a very fruitful one with some quality hours of learning time.

In the midst of it all, didi asked me why I not become a teacher. In return, I asked him back if he thinks I'm being a good teacher. He said yes which sent me straight to the moon. I do think we are all learning much from each other, me being a more patient one at that.

After I was done with meimei and korkor, I was left with some BM learning time with didi alone. The lesson on its page had something to do with ijazah, pensyarah and some pictures of university learning and convocation day.

I translated the word ijazah to "degree" and asked him if he knows what degree is. He nodded his head and said it's the temperature you take with a thermometer. Haha! He totally knocked me off my chair as I wasn't thinking in that line at all. So I told him he's right, but degree has another meaning and went on to explain what that means bla bla bla...

Interestingly, this went on with me telling the story of how I, once upon a time ago, wore the mortar board and the robe too, and was conferred by the Sultan of something. He asked what a sultan is and I said the king (which I know it's not too accurate, but wth). I showed him our old photos taken on the conferring day and gee, how much we both have changed! Didi and I were surprised to see how papa looked like at that time. Really had a wonderful time together, combining BM lessons and our very own past history. Bet he remembers today's lesson much much more.

I took a walk down memory lane again, browsing at those photos with my old friends, the heart feeling so much warmth and happiness having gone through such memorable and sweet time together. Oh, my life has really been great all the while.

Qing Ming this year

Officially, it's Qing Ming tomorrow (Wednesday), I think. But my inlaws had decided that last Sunday, 1st April was the day to visit the ancestors' grave and do the routine, cleaning up, having a picnic or "reunion dinner" with the ancestors.

This year round, I get to skip my presence. *jubilant tone*

No, I didn't use sick as an excuse. Instead, it was meimei who needed to attend a competition representing her school in a rhythmic gymnastics game. And she needed to be chauffeured there at 9 in the morning. Takkan I leave her alone here, kan?

So, I pleaded with hubs to leave us and didi here while he goes back with korkor to run this filial piety duty. Thank goodness it went as planned.

And such, the weekend saw we split into 2 groups and I sent them off to the train station for them to take the train home. They were to follow my brother inlaw's car back to KL the very next day.

Many ideas ran inside my mind, wandering about what I can do with the little "freedom" I get. However, as night comes, as usual, nothing much happened and I was so reluctant to leave the home. Yet again. Sigh. What happened to my "wild" side?

Surely I didn't want to start cooking up dinner again, so we went about to look for dinner and settled on Japanese. Boy, how I indulge myself and the kids with the food we love without hubs around. Tee hee!

We came right home after dinner and went to bed straight. I felt weird somehow to be at home alone with the 2 little ones only though, even though hubs often leave us here when he travels for business trips. Why, oh why.

The next morning, I made breakfast and in the miscalculated of time, I was rushing through to get meimei in time for the van waiting for her at the school. Everything was fine and dandy, no worries at all.

In that few hours of me time with didi alone, there were stuffs I wanted to do with him. I pondered of taking him to go cycling at Publika, then go eat chilli pan mee, then back home for shower and off to the stadium to watch meimei. He wanted to play badminton though. But anyway, I drove straight to Publika to check out the cycling activity.

By the time I got there, it was about 9.30 and there was only half an hour to cycle if I do want to. Well, I thought what the heck, since we were already there and went to park the car in.

Holy shit! It was SO HOT at that hour! What sacrifices moms make for their kids, you tell me!

(While I was all the time complaining how TRULY HOT it is every year at the cemetery having a picnic! Tee hee! My bad, I agree!)

We both had a GREAT time and I would have loved to cycle more rounds if it weren't that blardy hot! I made a point in mind to go as early as 7am the next opportunity.

After the cycle and returning the bikes (which are free on loan! No kidding, where can you get free stuffs these days, huh?), I took didi by his hand and we strolled around B.I.G. supermarket and looked at some rare high class fruits. I bet he learned some new things that day. Me included.

Since we weren't so hungry, as I thought, I was pondering to spend the next few hours to

1. visit a friend and have lunch together?
2. go to BookAxcess and get some books?
3. go home, shower, then eat pan mee?

In the end, we just went home, showered, ran out of time, detour to McD drivethru on the way to stadium and ate our burgers and fries at the venue itself. But, the little guy was so thrilled! He was just too happy to have his chicken burger. Really can't understand why McD burgers are so appealing to children!

Spent the whole of the afternoon watching and waiting for meimei and reached home about 7pm. I was brilliant enough to foresee that and already had porridge cooked in the thermal cooker the day before, all ready for us that night. So we won't be running late for early bedtime for early rise the next morning for school. Mothers are made of these stuff, aren't we? We just know to plan ahead early. Guess hubs couldn't even had guessed that coming.

I asked korkor how his trip was. He said ok, but it would be more fun to have more people around. Too quiet, he said. Just like his papa's words. I wonder if the pups brainwashed him?! hmm...