Love. Before and now.

Guilt overcomes me whenever I'm in a heated argument with my hub in front of the kids. Korkor would tell us to just stop arguing and tell his papa to just say sorry to me. Poor kid! I hope it doesn't make any negative impact in the little head of his, making him stay away from women for the rest of his life.

If only he had known how in love we had been way before. During those courting days, all the years up to marriage, onto the parenting bandwagon, but along the way, we seemed to "lose" the romance gradually.

We started dating end 94-early 95, in a love so hot, that we can't NOT see each other for a day. Those days, our meetings would last till the early hours of the morning, like 2-3am and then the next day, he would have to go to work while I continue snoozing on my bed, totally forgotten about classes! Where his energy came from, he himself scratched head.

He loved (note the past tense) holding my hand everytime we went out, and he once told me he would hold mine until we grow old. It was so sweet then. Now? It seems like we are on the same polarized magnet end and would repel each other, as far as we could.

Since the existence of mobiles, he would be talking on the phone more often than not. Half the time it would be business related, which I can't be so unfair to be angry over him for, but some are just chat calls (with guy friends, I hope).

He claims he doesn't love me less just because he doesn't show it like he did before. He claims our love has matured, and we are on an understanding level. In other words, we are just like loe-fu-loe-chai.

Fine. I understand. I really do. But I have to admit, I so feel the tinge of jealousy when I see old couples like us, still holding hands and showing their love, albeit in a matured, understanding way. (Maybe a new bag would help)