Flying off without the kids.

I always remember that day I went to Ipoh airport with my parents and took some family pictures before bidding farewell to them, then being whisked off to my tai-pak's home with my brothers for roughly a week while my parents had a goody nice time in HK. I was missing them so very hard and the days dragged by very badly for me. I cried for days and felt very very miserable.

When I was finally driven back to our own home in Menglembu, the first thing I saw was a big teddy bear seated on the floor of our living room facing the entrance. My eyes lit up big and asked who that was for, never daring to think for a moment it's mine. The grin on my face grew ear to ear when I was told it was for me, hardly believing the news. I can't forget that moment. All is forgiven, even though I still can't forget how miserable I was.

So. Now that I am a mom myself, do I want to repeat that awful experience to my kids?

Hell, I really do not wish to. Believe me.

Then again, my mil offers to help me babysit the kids for the longest time and encourages us to go and have a break, just me and my hub. I brushed it aside.

Her sister also said the same thing while we were in Singapore.

One day not long ago, he told me he needed to go to Taiwan for business trip. I jokingly said I wanna go too. He treated it for real. He wanted me to join him. My mom wanted the kids to stay a few days with her and my dad. Practically everyone was telling me to go! What's wrong with them??

Of course, the kids didn't like the idea. Especially meimei. I told them that this is for them and their grandparents. (partially true, I would say, not entirely for myself, really) I convinced them that they are very fortunate and very lucky to have all 4 grandparents still around, to love them and pamper them, and they should, really, ought to, spend some time alone with them whilst they are still around, alive and kicking. Do I manage to convince them? I think so.

As the time came near, I was the one who felt taking every step was darn heavy. I didn't want to pack, I didn't have the mood to leave. Really first time for me to be so unwilling going for a holiday.

The plan was without flaws. My inlaws who spent the night in Genting, were to come over to KL to pick the kids up, then they drive us to KL Sentral and then my bil drives them all home. Then after a night's stay at their home, my dad would take them 3 to their home for another 3 nights. Then back to their home again before we come back for the weekend to bring them to Bkt Merah and eventually home.

It was all running smoothly and perfectly. Except when the time came for us to leave the house, meimei came over and hug me, all teary-eyed. Poor little girl. I was so mm-seh-tuck.

While my bil took us to Kl Sentral, I pulled them along with us and meimei sobbed even more while never letting me go, hugging me tightly. It was so heartbreaking for me. I felt guilty to the max!

Well, then we said bye, blew flying kisses and took off anyhow. Though I miss them terribly, I know they were in good hands, entertained and pampered by my parents and his parents, at least slightly better than my own experience when I was in their shoes.

Seriously, I was very worried some awful accidents would take place and that would be the last time I see anyone of them. But I also know it's too extreme negativity thinking. Eventually, I let down my hair and yes, I enjoyed myself for those few days. I need to talk to them at least once a day though and it was enough for me.