A morbid tale

Last night, we went to a friend's dad's taoist funeral. We get acquainted with this friend in Brunei while we were living there the last few years.

It came rather unexpectedly, since we hadn't heard about his dad's being sick, then again, we were not too close families either, were we?

A little brief summary of him, he and his family had been living in Brunei for most of their years and about the time I had my 2nd child, he moved to KL and settled down back here permanently, bringing along his parents and siblings too. Not long later, he found his wife and got married, and we did attend his wedding.

Last night when we arrived, it was raining, as it had been for these few weeks. As we saw him, we shook his hand and convey our condolences. Halfway through the conversation, we shook his hand again, this time to congratulate him on learning he's going to have his first child in Mar next year. That felt a little bit awkward.

His dad was only 65 (which tugs at the heartstrings, you know, how awfully close the age is with my parents' age), and he wasn't sick or ill before he passed away. Though he was a diabetes, and nearly losing his eyesight, high blood pressure, he was basically ok, can walk and talk and care for his own self. Apart from having a slight cough, he was just as normal as person as could be. And he had just left without any word in the evening, after telling his wife that he was feeling unwell.

Which brings to us to think if it's really a good thing or otherwise sending someone so close to heaven in this way. On one hand, it was like, there wasn't any goodbye. On the other, he passed away without any much suffering or pain.

I commented, that well, at the very least, he had spent a good few years living comfortably in the new cosy home with his own children, which is something I would regret for my own dad if anything would happen. In a way, I guess I was talking to myself.

But our friend detested, wondering if he would really live longer if he had stayed in Brunei, for he had his friends and his work there all his lifetime. We wouldn't know which would really do good for them, would we? In the end, I guess it all depends how they choose to be happy, as long as they are happy.

Towards the end, we chatted with his wife's sister, who told us buddhist funerals are so expensive, compared to christians. Just for the information, they paid RM13k for all the funeral rites, canopy, drinks and food, without the costs of burial. He told us earlier that 2 spaces in Nirwana costs them Rm32k, but is refundable after 8 years.

Apart from it, we got to know when someone died, even of natural death like this, it's a must to make a police report. The police will come over soon and check that no abnormality is found and is indeed a natural death. The ambulance which they called for was even kengchau. Apparently, they took quite a long time to arrive, unlike the belief we have that it would be seen almost instantly if we called one. And that is not the juice yet. The oomph is after they arrived, they checked the patient, and when they learnt he passed away, they asked you back why you asked for ambulance! Terror tak?

Back to this woman whom we befriended, suddenly we found ourselves in a one-way conversation of Jesus Christ. Amazing how she could 1-luon-jui (1 mouthful, nonstop all the way) talk about Jesus. I wanted to sepit in between to call it quits, it was really getting late for me, as I need to wake up early to send son to school, but was finding it so hard to do so. Eventually we did, whew! and I went home feeling morbid, while reminded yet again to love and appreciate the times when the loved one is still alive.