First, Mon evening, I found out he had performed badly in some small tests in class. His classmate, whom he had invited over to the birthday party earlier, poked his back by using his mom's handphone to call me and tell me about it!
The chop in his exercise book read "Please see to your child's homework and sign here". If a child gets a chop like this in his books, it's not really a good thing, you know. So, that evening, dad grilled him till he cried.
Then, the next day, I watched over his shoulder while he was doing his homework and when he knew that I was behind, he used his small hands to cover his sheet of paper. Aiyoh, son ah son, like that, I sure can smell something fishy already la!
I didn't need to use any force, just growled at him to move his hands away and it'll be gone magically. There's one big ? across the whole paper with the doomed chop again greeted me. Nearly fainted. But not yet. I check some more and 2 more papers have the similar greeting. Smoke coming out from my nostrils already.
I didn't cane the day before, giving him chance, since it was his actual birthday too. This time, it was unavoidable. 3 canes on his palm and he looked miserably sorry. So, what to do? Though I knew nuts about chinese, I still managed to guide him through. He was pretty impressed, he asked how I knew all those words. Chewah..
The next day, after music class, he told me he wished to change teacher woh.. Straight away, I knew something is not so right, as he never ask such demands before. I investigated further and true enough, he was admonished by the music teacher for not playing well the song teacher told them to practice. Obviously he didn't put much effort in his practices.
So, like what moms would say, a mom would have to do what a mom should do.. lecture and nag la, what else? I lectured a long 15 mins lecture telling him how fortunate he is to have the chance to learn playing the piano, how happy I feel when he plays a song for me, how truly well he can play if he puts his heart into it, how much sacrifices I made to rush every wed to take him to class, how much money I paid for the class, the books, the piano... *slaps face*
Perhaps I am too pushy on him.
Anyway, the BIG surprise is still not here yet. The BIG one came this morning, when I dropped him off at school, he told me, "oh yes, teacher said she wanted to meet you"
I looked at him disbelievingly. He thinks I am an "on-call" mother for his teacher all the time?
I asked "When?" He said "Now". I scolded him for only telling me then, and told him he had to tell teacher he did that and I can't come unprepared, at least I had to dress up decently a bit. Not that I don't wear decently to drive him to school in the morning, ok? Don't ever misunderstand.
Gosh! You think being a student and being asked by the teacher to meet your parent is stressful enough? Actually being a parent and being asked by teacher to meet her is more stressful.
I fidgeted around deciding if I should go to school later to see her or not, honestly, it's really stressful. Sigh, I suppose I should face it like a real MOM like how I told my son to face problems like a real man, right?
Well, the meeting came and gone, it wasn't too dramatic, just a friendly chat on him. Whew! *wipes sweat from forehead*
After this whole week, I hope there's not another bomb coming tomorrow, I learnt I really should be giving him more attention than I had been. Poor thing, he must have trembled and worried so much thinking how to tell me that the teacher wanted to see me. Maybe years later, he will find out I almost fainted out too when I heard that and my heart seemed to be pumping out of me when I was talking to her.
So, I'm not scolding him for trying to hide something from me, I learned my lesson well and want to be a better mom for him. After all, children are children, they surely need to be a little naughty and mischievous to be really called children, aren't they?
What a stressful job this is.
11 comments:
Hahahaha, all these reminds me of my school days!! You set too high of a expectation for your kid la. Relax... :)
Steady sis. Jason use to luv music class too and now, the feel so faded and we realize we cannot push him. So let it be. Cancel the piano class loh. Save your $$ mah!
N talking about homework, Jason even sign the parents signature on is report card! I was so furious that I cane him straightaway but explaining to him what he did wrong. Its not the results, its the way he reacts to it is more important. So..take it easy...
HI Dawn,
Nice to see you here again! Nola, I'm not setting a very high expectation from my children, in fact, I am considered to be the "loose" one already. As I've said, children are children.. just learn to *take a deep breathe in.... take a deep breath out...."
CY,
I don't want to cancel the music class, not at this time yet. I really hope to provide him the opportunity to learn music and enjoy it at this young age where he can master it better. I knew a music teacher who graduated from the Yamaha course and he told me music is really good for the mind, though he didn't appreciate that when he was young, but now he does.
It's something I regretted not learning while I was young and I want to have the best for them, until they are grown up and matured to know what they really like and do not like, I will then leave them alone to choose their own hobbies.
Inconvenient, yes, $$ flown, yes, but these are the sacrifices have to be made for our own children. It'll be worth it, no matter how, unless of course we can't afford to or they really are not interested. Got any children who says they love to play piano from young? If yes, they are surely gifted already. And I'm not asking for my children to excel in anything they do, just to enjoy while learning.
Btw, cy, haha.. jason signing on behalf??? That sounds exactly what we did when we were young, no?? Children! Sometimes you think about it, if they don't behave and act like that ah, you really need to worry if something is wrong in their head!! Of course, need to tell them what is right and what is wrong la..
HAHAHA... now we get our "pou-ying"...
I understand your stress when the teacher want to see you.
I have many of this experiences...my heart pounds fast, head get numbed, hands start to feel cold whenever I see the caller ID is from school. (Cry)
Hi Gargies, couldn't help smiling the whole time I read your this well written posting, ha ha.
Just keep on motivating him, encourage, use reverse psychology, challenge him....show him examples and believe you me, He will surprise you.
But don't worry too much Gargies, let him find his feet...he will.
When I was 6 years old to 16, I was every mother's and teacher's nightmare (you read my postings)....and practically every teacher told me, told my parents, "your son has no hope, no future", ha ha. (who brings snakes and iguanas and let go in class frighten teachers and classmates?, ha ha).
But somehow, my mom had that trust and hope, (she made the store owener selling jossticks retire early, ha ha) in me....only son too.
I failed my Arts, drawing and paintings....in Form 5 exam. Had a 'D' !!!
10 years later I had 5 oil paintings exhibited at Dewan Tunku Abdul Rahman KL,...sold 3, kept two...both now hanging in my home now. Was offered $5000 for one, I decide to keep it as I love it.
Gargies, I never in school exceeded more than 55 in my maths or science exams, but scored distinctions in English and Literature form 5 and 6.
But other subjects always hovering around 60. I was too playful. I never saw 70 in my life in maths or science.
But somehow my mom's prayers worked, I managed to scrape thru my Form 5 with a Grade 2.
And Form 6, just passed by a whisker...almost failed by 5 marks, ha ha.
But I am proud to say, I later became a GM as well a Corporate GM in a public company and one of the very few people to fly in Corporate planes. I reached positions most people dream of.
Oh ya, I was lousy in maths and science, but became an IBM systems analyst on IBM main frame computers using Cobol language. Me with a scrape thru maths, ha ha.
As your son gets older, he will discover himself, his talents...just give him your love, motivation...
and remember, Bill Gates was a U dropout.
One of the greatest 2WW Generals, US Army General Patton...he and his army the 1st to reach German's River Rhine, I have till today followed his most famous saying, "Never tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity".
So Gargies, have fun being a mother...your son WILL surprise you one of these days. Lee.
I believe every mother has experience like you, including me. And I believe you have your way to communicate with him too.
FYI, my case 'lagi teruk', when my elder daughter in year 1, I got a call from the school teacher, the teacher told me, my daughter lending RM5 to a classmate, but ask RM10 for return. I got a big shock, the parent of the student complained to the class teacher, so she called me. Then only I knew she stole her father's money and lend it to friends, then became 'dai-e-long'... Finally, I spend few hours to talk to her nicely... To make her apologise and promise not to repeat the same mistake.
If you are patient enough, I do not suggest to cane kids, especially when come to dai-wok case like this.
Most of us lack of parenting skills, lets share our experince and ideas.
Yup, take it easy Gargies. CY is right about the music class. My philosophy is to send the children if they are really passionate about music. If they are not, it's actually a waste of money. They maybe interested in something else. As for the results, give him some time.
*sweats* Gooly is 3, and the banker oredi said, "next time teacher call for a meeting, you go settle ah.." Dim sau for??
Thanks for the support.
my, yeah, I know. We just need to have faith in them, right?
Lee, I know scoring straight A's students might not necessarily be the richest man in the world. That's why I'm not pushing him to do that. Just don't come home with red marks all over, that's my good boy already.
Herme, Wow, your girl a real "entrepreneur"! Got 'big ear hole' qualities too. Not too bad.. :)
Jo-N, no, I don't share the same perspective, seeing he's good in it, and he does play well, if he practices. Of course, when there are other games to play, he would prefer to let the piano wait. So, that's how kids are, have to instill some discipline in them.
goolypop, wish you good luck wei.. nola, things won't turn out so badly, I'm sure teachers meant well.
Hi Gargies
You telling my story is it?? my son is EXACTLY the same. Sometimes dont know whether to laugh or to cry. For him, as long as he finishes his homework - its considered DONE. Never mind correct or not, and he wont bother to find out if he doesnt know - just hantam. then go out and play and deal with corrections and scolding later. Sigh! MAybe its a boy thing. But if I sit down next to him, he can get all correct, coz he knows I am watching over his shoulder. But how to sit next to him everyday?? I have 3 kids, and other things to do. Same case with music, teacher scold him - he wants to change teacher. In school, teacher scold him he wants to change class! *pengsan* not?? Guess the only consolation we have is that we are in the same boat. So lets pray together that our sons grow up - quickly!!
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