Preparation for beach vacation.

I went to the malls last Fri, intending to check out the bikinis and get one to go to the beach vacation soon.

After trying a few pieces, I can't seem to find the one where I can stuff lots of waterproof cottonwool in. Unless I want to hold my breath and tuck the tummy in all the time, I don't think I want to display my out-of-shape bod subject to everyone else's jeer.

Anyway, while I was there, I bought those kiddo's snorkelling gears and bet they would surely enjoy themselves playing with 'em.

Truly, when they saw it, all of them were so excited, especially didi, since he wanted those for ages! I am such a mean mom to make him wait this long.

Brought them down later for some "test drive", and didi jumped right into the water, with the gear already worn at home. He took it like a fish to water, paddling his feet furiously while the head submerged all the time. He even gave a thumbs-up halfway while still swimming, it was so so funny. I hope they don't freak out when they see the fishes swimming all around them later.

Now to get all my long sleeves and long pants. Gosh! I am gonna look like a walking charcoal when I get back.

Waiting for time to come.

I've been thinking...

how many bikinis I would need to pack for a week's use leh??

2D/1N KL city center tour.

It was a rare opportunity to hang out at KLCC park, since we seldom go there unless there's a warranted reason for it.

But over the last weekend, we took the kids and walked in the city, to the KLCC park, and had dinner at Pepper Lunch in Pavilion. Korkor was overjoyed with the food in the sizzling pan and we had an easy time people watching, wasting time away.

Only thing that annoys me is...

I'm so forever irritated by hubs who was always walking far ahead in front of me and meimei, and dashing pedestrian's traffic light with didi even though he needed to wait for me at the other end.

A family outing like this don't exactly seem to be the family outing I have in my mind.

Koko wanna blog as well.

Seeing me blogging so very often and reading it at times with glee, korkor asked my permission to blog too. Thinking "blog mud kwai la blog", I asked him why. He said just for fun. Eh, fun meh?

I guess I was very concerned because of his naivety to the www and the harm that it could pose, if he's just not careful.

Anyhow, I also believe that just stopping kids from exploring new things is not very good (apart from harmful things), so I sat him down and we had a 1 on 1 chat again.

Firstly, I said, he can blog, but a few "rules", albeit unwritten, that he must observe.

1. The purpose of the blog - it must serve as "something" la, right? Shouldn't be just aimless with nothing in mind. Then again, I think his purpose now is to "experience the blogging fun".

2. For security purposes, he must not reveal any details of where we stay, where we go, what we do, where he goes to school, what his name, what his friends' names, what his teachers' names... (eh? then blog about what ah?)

3. Must not ever talk bad about family, in other words, washing dirty linen in public. For whatever is published on the internet, it can never be taken back. And family is always family.

4. Must not blog during moments of anger, as when we are shrouded with the feeling of anger, we would often blurt out words which we do not mean, and this is very dangerous in the internet, since as in rule (3) it can never be taken back.

5. If possible, try not to blog about unhappiness or miseries, for we do not really want to remember all these unhappy stuffs, do we? As I was telling him, I blog to let them read back on the cute things they did or said when they were small, the vacations and happy moments we had together and seldom reflecting on anything unhappy (which does happen to me too, I'm just human). When the days get rough, and we read back on these positiveness, our mood can be lifted up again (which works for me, as I love reading the sweet like candy memories when I feel down)

6. When there's a problem, don't blog it before finding a solution to it, especially when it involves another person. I do see some bloggers, rather than having a confrontation or working out a proper solution to an issue with another person, would just blurt it out on the internet, as if the issue would sort itself out just like that. Blogging should remained as fun, as just similarly to keeping a journal, to remind and reflect on ourselves.

Any you like to add too?

OMG! Sesana, you not real?

This totally freaks me out. That is, finding the truth about Sesana doesn't exist.

Meimei had been telling me about her bestie called Sesana for many moons, since Shazminta left the school. I didn't worry or thought anything wrong at first but as the days go by, the stories she tells me are getting more and more weirdy and outrageous. Like Sesana comes from Bangladesh (which is a bit surprising, but still normal), that she has swimming classes every Fri, Sat and Sun (sounds to me, a bit too kwacheong) and the latest one, that she has relatives/ friends working in a circus and she knows how to do a lot of stuffs like juggling. Not weird enough ah? To me, it is.

So I decided to check on this wonder little girl called Sesana (which I thought was Suzanna at first) but the teacher told me in a raised eyebrow no (with the are-you-nuts?-look) and think left think right also can't relate to any child called Sesana in the school. Going home, I was feeling uncomfortable, in fact, VERY!

When I picked her up, I decided to double check with another teacher (you know, maybe the teacher is really nuts), and she confirms to me that there's no such person. My eyes went big. The first thing that come into my mind "Eek! Schizophrenia ke?"

This is so freaking me out. Though the teacher tried to console me that it's just normal for children to have imaginary friends. Especially for only child. Like, even though meimei has 2 brothers, but there aren't any sisters to grow up with, hence she made up a bestie called Sesana for herself.

I guess I could relate to that. Being the only daughter myself, I used to feel lonely when I was young too, as the 2 brothers often kicked me aside to a corner, not letting me in in whatever they were playing or doing. But I couldn't remember I had a significant imaginary friend, since there were many many children and cousins in my neighborhood to play with everyday.

Anyway, calming myself down, I tried to make out some senses behind...

1. Maybe I hadn't been spending much time with her playing or doing something together, just with her. I do feel guilty that most of my time, often I stress more on the boys, thinking that she's just doing fine, as she's always so bubbly and happy. I thought it was normal when she's playing "role play", as a teacher in a class or dancing class, ordering her "students" (teddy bears and Barbie dolls) around. Sometimes it's "family", sometimes it's "teabreaks". Perhaps, maybe just perhaps, there's really noone to play with her. *sob*

2. She's not making friends in school? This, I'm really not very sure, but according to the teacher's feedbacks, she's having fun and mixing around pretty well. Or could it be, she's not really as happy as she seems to be? Oh dear... *hangs head down*

3. Or perhaps, I am worrying too much? That girls her age are common to be having imaginary friends? A teacher in her school told me one girl has been talking to Jippy and Puni for the longest time. Once the girl went downstairs all by herself and told her parents that her 2 friends were waiting for her. *major freaked out*

Well, now that I know Sesana does not exist, I don't even know if I should stop her imagination or let it flourish. After getting some advice, yeah, I think the right thing to do is to tell her what is story and what is real. Perhaps she really thinks that story telling like this is FUN, or talking to me like this is FUN.

Just now, before tucking her in bed, I read her a book, and before that, I had a little chat with her, telling her before she tells me any story that she made up herself, she must let me know that's the case and shouldn't be mixing fantasies and real events together. She nodded her head, and *whew* I hope this won't develop too far to a serious case of schizophrenia. ("A Beautiful Mind" playing in my head)

Bringing up girl is more headache lor.

Sometimes, I just wonder if meimei had been loedim me all this while with her stories of her "bestie" in school. It started off cutely with her tell tales of what her friends do, or say to her. As the days go by, I am beginning to get really suspicious. Even when she's bathing and the soap was getting smaller, she would tell me that her friend said her mom changed the soap to a brand new one and throw the smaller one away. I mean, do they really tell her that, so minute details in their lives? Or is meimei imagining stuffs? *creepy*

Some of the times, she would say her friend gave her this or that. Smaller stuffs like stickers and pencils, I would just nod my head and ask her if she thanks her friend. But today, she showed me a really nice clip and said so&so gave that to her. I was rather shocked, and first thing that came into my mind was, is it true? Or could it be that she "took" that from her friend? I really hope not.

I told her to give it back to her friend tomorrow, nicely explaining to her that it's not a good habit to take things like these from her friend, even though she's the one to give to her or her mommy lets her. If she liked it, she had to "work hard" for it herself to get it, not getting into this habit to take things from anyone. I said, if she has this habit, next time some "bad men" would give her nice nice things and will take her inside a room and touch her everywhere, including her private parts and making her really painful.

She asked me how to work hard for it, I said working hard means, like right now, be a good girl and I would reward her for good behavior or good results from her studies. When older, then working hard means earning money herself decently to buy the things she loves, instead of hoping from people to give to her.

I pray she understands what I'm trying to say. Boy! I don't have this kind of worry with my boys, they really don't bring home anything from anyone or love any materials stuffs. They are just happy go lucky boys, happy with anything thrown over to them. With the girl, I really have to crack my brain more to make sure she won't "taam", like wants to own anything that catches her eyes.

She definitely needs more attention to be educated on "working the proper way to get her doodads". I have to balance carefully too, not to spoil her on getting everything she wants, but also to suppress her loves over material stuffs so she won't do anything wrongly. However, having a high desire to own something that she really loves can also be a good motivation for her to work hard for it. Balancing! Balancing! I need to learn fast!

A small lesson for him.

I have been packing bento (awesome ones!) for the boys to take to school since day 1. All the lurv goes into its preparation, pleasing me with the thought that they will be lugging the bento box to the canteen and savoring the food, thinking of me during recess time.

So when I see the bento box still lying around on the table when I came home yesterday from dropping them off at school, I was pretty devastated. What is didi going to eat? Should I be the good ole mom to make her way back to school again and pass him the bento box before recess time?

There I was, trying to decide the best thing to do. In the end, I decided to teach him a lesson and see what he would do under such circumstances. After all, life is not a bed of roses, he needs to learn up some survival skills!

When he came back, I was very excited and asked him that question the first thing. He looked at me and said "yeah, I forgot the tupperware, why didn't you put it in the bag for me?". Gawd! What a demanding little brat! I said it's his responsibility and that would teach him a lesson next time to care for his own things.

I asked him what he did during recess time then. Did he look for his elder brother to share the food? Did he go wandering around, looking at all the food? Did he beg for food from the canteen's auntie? Did he salvage the leftover food from others?

He told me "noooo..... I told the teacher I forgot to bring food and she gave me 1 dollah to buy food". (yes! just what I thought he could do and he didn't disappoint me) And the next day, I gave him 1 buck telling him to return the money to teacher.

(The so-called bentos that day consists of 2 slices of bread, kiap with peanut butter and fruit jam each, 1 raisin vanilla homemade cupcake and 1 rice cracker with seaweed only)

Silais lunch.

I was invited to a lunch at someone's home on a weekday. Thinking that I have to lug the 3 of them together as well, I declined, but she insisted to have them along too.

So, there we were, visiting her big bungalow home for the first time after coming home from school. In the car, I had forewarned them to behave well and not to touch people's things, not to make the place messy during lunch and to remember to take the plates back to the sink when they are done.

The 2 aunties were charmed with my kids, especially with didi and meimei, saying how well behaved they are and particularly impressed when they saw them taking their plates to the sink without prompting. Heh! I kembang-ed, wei.

They enjoyed the big garden around the house so much, I let them play outside while we gossiped. We were saying how fun it would be for them at this age to grow up in a big landed property. Sigh! I do feel sorry for them to be cooped up in a little apartment, but hey, we do have a swimming pool for them to play in anytime. In conclusion, we agreed that there are pros and cons to apartment and landed property, can't say one is superior than the other.

They were served baked cheese rice and they so loved it. The maid who did that taught me how to do it and koko was asking me to make that for lunch today! Yes, soon, but not now. Later, I share the recipe here.

It was a very nice afternoon spent and the kids made me really proud.

Woody and Buzz Lightyear.

Toy Story 1 and 2 had always been among my few favorite movies. I remembered I laughed until the side ached watching it together in the cinema with Hui Ling. Her laughter is so contagious that it was way more fun laughing our heads off together.

The 3rd instalment of Toy Story is equally good, not at all lacked of creativity or jokes. I laughed a lot again watching it with my children but apparently, I seemed to be the only one who did. Made me miss my friend so much too. I am sure if we had been together watching it again, we would encourage each other to laugh even more.

Love the ending so much. Very gumtoong Andy described each and everyone of his favorite toys and playing them for the last time before he goes off to college, being a little kid all over again. The ending is the best! I think it's the first time an animated movie can have that spilling effect over me. Spilling effect meaning I would be still thinking about the movie after it was over and having the feel-good feeling for a long long time. I'm so watching it again at home!

The picture above was taken when they brought Woody and Buzz Lightyear for photo taking sessi in Midvalley during the promotion tour. There were only meimei and I because I had curi keluar with her. I didn't intend to join the Q at first but we were, so to say, shoved to the Q like being stampeded and suddenly finding ourselves in the line. I didn't even have a camera with me and just whipped out the phone cam to take this picture. Am so glad that we did now.

One beautiful morning in my life.

These 2 days, meimei had been waking up the same time as us, accompanying me out to send the kids to school.

This morning, I thought, what the heck, since she's up and about, might as well get her to get ready for school herself and head straight to some light breakfast before her school is opened at 8.

She's so excited and happy with the idea. Probably she wanted me back to send her to school, instead of papa who did the task on Mon and Tues. And she could be early. So it wasn't any problem for her to get bathed and changed by her own in lightning speed.

It was a beautiful morning after all, having breakfast in the cool morning breeze with the early folks. The experience seems so different from the usual weekends brekkies we have. I wonder why.

I enjoyed myself so much with her this morning, sharing a bowl of loe shue fun and talking. She wanna play some 1-2-jum but I told her I wanna chat. I can't remember what we talked about but we both were so happy. It was such a sweet moment to savor.

But when we reached her school, her Mandarin teacher greeted her "jau-an" and asked if she did her homework this time... Apparently it's been 3 times she didn't do her chinese homework (yes, I don't check, I want to instill a sense of responsibility in them. Their homework, not for me to check. Just bear the consequences if they don't want to do them).

Her happiness was shortlived as I told her since she's early, she can sit down and finish it off then. How sad she looked that time. I suppose she was looking forward to play with her friends. I was afraid the dam might burst. But she was ok after all.

I'm now looking forward to more of this early morning brekkies with her, before next year when she goes to school with her brothers. Time is ticking.

After discussion with teacher.

Went to see didi's teacher the next morning when I sent him to school. Not to confront her, but after giving a night's thought, I decided it's not such a bad idea to check with her if there's anything I missed out, just in case.

With a thumping heart, I walked over to her desk but before I could say anything, she blurted out "your son!" the moment she saw me. Heiz...

Anyway, conclusion from the meeting, I felt sorry for her too. She told me it's just recently he had been daydreaming a lot in class and not keeping his stuffs, which are all over the floor. He had made some improvement before and now back to square 1. I believe he must have tested her patience hell lots, and she couldn't stand that kind of attitude anymore, hence the outburst that day on him. It must have been rather ugly.

I came back feeling both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved because well, he had told me the truth and nothing too big a problem to settle, at least it didn't involve any fighting with the rest of the students. Sad because well, after all the effort, why back to square 1?

Brainstormed and gave it a long thought. I suppose there are few things I could try.

1. He could be a daydreamer because he's thinking of a big invention plan and getting really rich, then buying a big bungalow and hiring a driver for me to bring me to ElVee shop. Wait! That's me daydreaming. Sorry for the diversion. I believe it's the lack of sleep he's getting, really. What else do you expect from a 7yo who gets only, lemme count....8 hours of sleep everyday, right?

2. His messiness... I think I could be the main culprit here, for I had been cleaning up after them for far too long now. Cleaning up their beds, picking up the dirty clothes, clearing their food on the table and floor, tidying up their books on the table... Being too nice is not such a good thing after all, is it? Well, not that I do not want to train them but sometimes I do feel sien nagging them to do this do that everyday and in the end, I still need to do the dirty work and it takes up even longer time. So I suppose it's just faster and easier to do everything by myself. And ended up they really taking things for granted.

So heck, yeah, from now on, I taught them, for a start, to clear up their own place where they were seated for meals, wipe the table, clear the mess to their plate, pick up rice from the floor and put it in the sink! About time. Long overdue, in fact. So far been so good. Hope this habit gonna stay.

These 2 days, didi came home feeling very much better. The teacher even told him he improved a lot these 2 days (according to him). I am very pleased with his mega achievement, so I rewarded him with chocolate, making origami twist box with him, reading story books and savoring potato wedges with cheese in KFC together. Life is good!

Bad effect psychologically? Hope not.

When didi was brought back home today, I was told that he seemed to be "ngan sup sup" when he was being picked up. So, I took him to my room and tried to dig some clues on what had happened. I tell you, the way he looked, it was so heart wrenching, like soaking my heart into a tub of water and taking it out, squeezing all the water out.

He would be tau tap tap, ngan sup sup, looking at me with forlorn eyes, lips twitched down :( , and resting his little head on my shoulder like sooo so sad. I kept asking and coaxing him for like half an hour and he still wouldn't tell me what had happened. My gawd, the more he kept it so secretly, the more worried I got.

It could be..

1. teacher scold/ punish/ beat

2. people bully

3. he bullies and got into trouble

4. a girl ditched him (which was exactly that kind of biew-ching if he had been older)

I was even beginning to wonder what exactly it was that I ask for. So, I changed tactic by asking him how he felt. Scared? Sad? Worried? When he said scared, my heart gave a little leap, like such a triumph to get some words out from him finally. So I continued asking why he's scared. Teacher? Classmates? Principal? He said teacher. wokey...

(take a few breathers first)

Then, what is it that the teacher did that made him scared? He told me that she scolded him and he's scared of her. Oh dear, by that time, I really feel so sorry for him. But I was worried that he might have done something terrible that the teacher would have scolded him so badly.

Apparently, after a long long longest time of coaxing and fishing, it was just that he didn't finish off a paper of exercise and was being scolded for it, I guess, pretty badly. He said in his own words... "after scolding, still scold!" huh??!!

So, being the very biased mom, I went about my day letting him play, of course after he had finished off his homework first, as long as he's happy. I just hope he doesn't have bad childhood memories because of lousy school time and he still remains my bubbly and happy little child, whatever it is.

At bedtime, I talked to him again and reconfirmed with him if that's all what happened in school. His eyes became reddish again, like suddenly being reminded of a very sad episode liddat. My, I wonder if he was very sensitive or the episode was really dem fugly until it is like totally wrecking him up. My heart aches so much seeing him this way.

Anyways, I asked him if he could at least try and change, so that the teacher won't scold him anymore? I explained to him that the teacher sure will be angry if he doesn't finish off his work, as she would also be scolded by the principal if she didn't finish off her work too. I asked him if he's still messy as before and he said no. I commended him and said "there you go! you can actually be good and get teacher to like you, if you try. Last time teacher Lee also liked you a lot after you tried being well behaved". He nodded his head and promised to try harder tomorrow. Heiz.. I think that's so much I can do. I don't like confronting the teachers either, as I believe it's better to leave the them alone, if there aren't any really serious issues.

And thus I pray, tomorrow will be a better day for him.

A very typical another ordinary day.

Today's activity is like spring cleaning the home for CNY. First, I cleaned the floor, then as the mood continued, it went on cleaning every surface and the fake plants/ deco which were not wiped since day 1 they moved in *gasp*. I wonder why. I guess it had something to do with a blank mood when everyone suddenly gone away/home. Mom who stayed around with me for 2 weeks now, went back last evening with dad and my 2nd brother flew off to down under for his vacation. Thinking him having a holiday faraway made me feel miserable. Thoughts about my good friend flying away to Milan with her family made it even worse.

Then again, it wasn't very prolonged. Seeing the kids playing together happily at home lifted up my mood again. It's the first day of their exams, and didi came home with a confident reply of OK when I asked how it went. Quite frankly, this time round, I didn't tutor them so much, so I could evaluate their standard without much help from me. In fact, over the weekend, we hang around doing nothing much other than playing games and wasting our time away rather than burying ourselves in the books, since it was a party here!

Seeing that they didn't have enough sleep over the weekend (we watched Avatar again till late night at home, dragging along dad to watch with us), I shoved them to their beds after lunch while I scrub the house. After 1 hour of very much still awake, I told them to get up and do their homework instead. Didi told me he has none while meimei went about doing hers. I told didi to work on some maths problems.

When they are done, they played chess together. Seeing them playing instead of fighting, I felt very pleased and don't have the heart to tell them to stop and start on more workbooks. So I just let them play on, even though there's more tests coming on the way. How cool is that? It delights me to see them going back to basics, playing on their toys and board games together since they know electronic games are banned during the weekdays and they had quit trying their luck anymore with me.

After working my ass off, I made a simple dinner with fishballs and steamed egg. While the boys are doing some work, I asked meimei to come in to the kitchen to help me with the french beans, stealing the idea from a blogger who had her girls helped her plucked the ends of the french beans away for her too. Meimei is so happy to do the job while I had the free time to get other things done in the kitchen. This is a much better accomplished "playtime in the kitchen" than the last baking session.

When dinner is over and 3 pages of English exercises, I quickly hurried didi and meimei to bed while korkor still working hard on his homework. When I got out from the shower, he asked me to give him a haircut, and wahlau! I even managed a 10 mins fast haircut for him! What a fruitful day indeed! But of course, have to jubjub his hair more tomorrow.

And that's actually, quite truthfully, not a very typical ordinary day for me.

Do I know you?

I was out gaigai today and saw a blogger, whose blog I had been following for quite a while. But since I didn't leave any comments before for her, I didn't go up to her to say "hi". I find it rather funny/weird to see someone I do not know, yet I know so much via her blog from what she wrote/ revealed. Like I know her sons' names, I know what she had been through these past few weeks and of her occasional rants once in awhile. But if I do smile, say "hi, apanama" and "i'm one of your anon blog reader", would she feel awkward or unfriendly or ... just nonchalant?

So, anyway, before I could decide to say hi or not, she looked at me for just a sec and moved on and walked away, dispersed into the crowd. I hang on at that spot for awhile, still thinking about that weird feeling, the "I know you! but wait, I don't". Well, perhaps she's already used to that kind of stare already and recognized that I could be one of her anon blog reader, but well, I think I could be better and just walked up to say "hello" anyway.

This is really one of my firsts.