Homework is not my job.

I really do get irritated when I hear about parents being too concerned over their kids' schoolwork, ting seah, spelling, ejaan and test results. To me, children should learn their responsibilities as students , to themselves and to their parents.

Homework? Is it more important to check if they had finished off all their homework and correctly as well, than to have them be alert in class and listen to what they need to do when they are back home and finish off that task BY THEMSELVES.

To me, homework is to teach them that it is their job. Their work. Not mommy's work or tutor's job to make sure they are up to it. Doing their homework by themselves teach about responsibilities.

Well, some parents think that it's very frustrating to get calls from teachers who complains their kids not finishing their homework. And perhaps very embarrassing? And that's the reason those parents prefer not to let them learn to take responsibility? Really? Which is of more concern, really?

The kids would just continue to rely on parents or tutors to ensure they do their work, and would hardly learn to do it themselves, I do believe.

So what if teachers come and complain? As a parent, that's when I punish really really hard if I hear or learn from their teachers that homework is not done. Still not doing it? Use other tactics. Hit where it hurts most. Reward them when they do well. And they WILL learn. Eventually. And that's the whole point of homework.

Do you check the homework after they claimed they finished it off? Noooooo... DON'T!

Let them do their own corrections if it's wrong. Let them know they have double work if they finish off their homework half-heartedly. Punish them even harder if they lied or forgot there was another page to do. Had to make them learn whole. Not halfway. Have to keep repeating the same exercise if they lax again. Hard work pays off, I assure you. And the sweetness WILL follow after the bitter is done with.

How about ting-seah, ejaan, spelling and other short tests in class? Need to prepare them to make sure they get 100 marks not? Is that really so necessary? Will they get smarter if their marks are all fullhouse? Will they lead a good life and make a good living because of that?

To me, it's also responsibility. You don't do your own study, you don't get good marks la. You want to feel proud of yourself, then just do your own revision la.

I have meimei's English teacher asking me, during the parent-teacher's meeting at half year, to make sure she learns her spellings every week. Tell you, till now, I didn't bother. OK, so in her recent test, she couldn't score in that question to write out the 4 shapes drawn out there, so? She scored in other parts. Oh yes, it was a pity, but does not being able to spell rectangle, triangle, square and circle would make her find a job lesser than what a teacher gets paid?

It does not impress me that your child can write A to Z when he's 3, that your child has 100% in ALL ting-seah at 4, or that your child is the top student in the whole grade either for every year. It does not impress me when they can't even do their own homework by themselves, do any research on projects given, study at their own will without any prompting or tuitions and having absolutely no idea what to do when the parents are not around to tell them what to do.

And worse still, they do not know how to laugh and enjoy themselves. Pathetic. Such childhood robbed!

The other day, I have a meimei's classmate's mother ranting to me how poorly her child performed in the 2nd test compared to the first. Aiyoh!! She is sooooo worried that her BM Penulisan had dropped to 70+! (And I was thinking, oh dear, meimei got 69 only wor, why I wasn't that bothered huh? Something wrong with me ah?)

Come on la, primary 1 only nia. Need to drill them to know everything not? So early jiao so pressure, waffor? Heiz... I have nothing to say liao.

Having said all that, this is not to say I'm not taking their studies seriously. Yes, they should strive to get good marks. Help them if and when they have problems. Like, if they are struggling with a subject or do not understand what the word or phrase of topic means, assist them. But assistance shouldn't be forming a highway without any obstacles for them to clear while providing a magic carpet to reach the endpoint. It's the journey, not the destination (which is really quite a cliche, I admit)

I'm so going to piss off many parents from this essay of mine!

It's time for.....

Holiday!!!!

Somehow, just a short break away from home seems to be appealing and very much looked forward to. Just to get away, I suppose. Never mind the hours of travelling. But nooooo, no no no no, we are not joining the balik kampung rush with the people celebrating Raya or the holiday makers. Don't you think we have learnt our lesson?

Instead, we are going to the place where everyone else flocks away. Just like moving to the center of the hill of ants when a speck of water drop on the peak.

Then after a night sleepover, we would come home and pack our luggage for a roadtrip. Hopefully, on the way, I can find some nice good local durians stalls too! mmm.....

Punished with a dollar fine!

Didi and meimei got it from me the other evening, for not going to bed till I came back from meeting at about 10+. I get worked up when the kids go to bed late, as I believe they really ought to sleep, they need those 8 hours minimum amount of sleep everyday. It's the basic to living healthy, absorbing what they learn in school and being happy. That's my principle.

The next day, I was worked up again when they were, still, eating their dinner after an hour or more.

By then, I was so fed up with all these admonishments, threats, warnings and blackmailings. I gave them the ultimatum - 30 mins after dinner served, no matter what time they starts to eat, and they yet to finish their meal, they would get it from me!

By that time, didi was worried sick when he couldn't eat the piece of chicken cleanly. He said to me, "ok la, you cane me lak, don't fine me, ok?"

I said no, I rather fine you (from his monthly pocket money), I felt more pain when I use the cane on you. He was puzzled. Why, he asked. I told him of course mah, his flesh comes from me, his blood running from mine, sure I felt painful when I cane la.

And then he tried his luck. You also feel painful wudd.. when I have pocket money slashed like that. I defended myself saying how would I, when the money would still remain in my bag? *wink*

And he had no choice. I was surprised he rather ask for that punishment rather than being 1 buck poorer. Bulls eye! I hit where it hurts him most!

I tell you what those rashes really are.

Last 2 weeks ago, didi landed up being sick and had to refrain from school. It wasn't a big issue, fortunately, nothing a few bottles of medicine and antibiotics couldn't do. He was back at school the next day.

A week after, the school called me up and told me it was korkor's turn. He felt itchy all over his arms, thighs and back that he wanted to see the doctor and get some ailment. I dropped my gym bag and went straight to pick him up. While I was there, I checked the other 2 as well, and meimei had the same symptoms, so fetched her along for the ride too.

We went straight to the doctor, and she only said 1 word - food allergy! (or is that 2 words?) I can't fathom what caused the allergy since there wasn't anything new that we ate or did. Anyway.

She gave some ointment to for itch relief and a bottle of calamine. We went home and they showered then popped the pill/ medicine and applied the cream. The kids were relieved, but not for long.

The itch stayed for a couple of days, in fact, a little more than that, and it not only began to irritate them, it was annoying me too! I had to help them apply the calamine lotion every now and then until I felt lazy to go wash my hands all the freaking time! Over dinner outside in a restoran that weekend, we were so "un-appetizingly" applying the calamine on meimei's feet particularly every 5 mins or so! I felt so sorry for the other patrons at that time. Hope noone snap picture and then blog about how insensitive we were! Yikes! The medicine didn't seem to work at all, darn!

But what I observed, the red bumpy spots happened to move from the arms to the hands and from the thighs to the calves and then later to the feet, and another day later to their fingers and toes. hmmm.....

So, I had a theory. This is what I told them

It must had been some little worms wriggling in them. They somehow made the skin itches so much that the person had to scratch and made it red with blood gushing down to that part of the skin. So when the blood comes, it sucks and live on it and PARTAY-ed! And hence, they multiplied, had babies, the number became even more and more! Korkor said - they must have lived just right under the skin! Oh yes, I said, they are, right on!

But when the calamine lotion is applied, it's cooling, no more scratches, so they had no choice but to move downwards, right until the fingers and toes. And when no more area left to move, they had no choice but to DIE!

Question! Korkor asked. Where did their bodies go then?

Ah! Easy one, I thought. It stays under the skin. That's why the bumps were still there even though it wasn't itchy or red anymore. Ahh.... how enlightened it was to them. But ewwwwww.... it was gross imagining all those "mayat" of those squiggly worms right under their skin.

I had a good time telling the story. Don't I make a better doctor than that whom I paid RM60 to? Food allergy wor, duh! *slap forehead*

The "worms" are all dead now. Whew~

A sweet act of korkor

Just when I thought how sweet a friend's son could be, offering his mama his very much loved meatball when his mama comments how hungry she was, I was, in turn, being given sweet treatment from korkor as well.

As I showed them a piece of tapao walnut chocolate cake at home for them after school, they went berserk and can't wait for me to cut it up and chomp on it. Simply dividing it into 4 parts unevenly, the 2 boys jumped quickly and snatched the biggest 2 away while leaving the 2 smallest for meimei and me.

Meimei's lips turned down almost immediately and pouted, while feeling sad for her, I offered her a bite of mine. She gladly chomped and took ONE BIG BITE, leaving almost nothing left. I went wide-eyed and said, I have nothing!

And just then, without even prompting, korkor offered me his. I felt really touched. This sweet son of mine does have a little soft spot. I put my hand round his shoulder, which is almost my height by now, and said "You are a very good boy, that's very nice of you, but that's ok, I know how much you love it, you eat la".

Meimei, probably felt guilty, or seeing that I praised her elder brother for his generosity, came over and offered hers back to me. I beamed with pride with the 2 of them.

Didi? Can't see him anywhere enjoying peacefully his acquired share of dessert. sigh..... let there still be hope.

A different bright early cheerful morning

I'm sure the sun rose from the west this morning.

If not, how else can you explain an extreme phenomena early early morning?

The said phenomena was that the kids had got up from bed at 6, went about their daily routine, except being loud and noisy, ALL ON THEIR OWN!

I was still in bed, but I was awake, hearing the cute chatters and whispers among them. I didn't get up until didi and meimei, both naked from their shower, standing by the doorway asking me softly where their school uniform were. These little monkeys, I really wanted to pinch their cheeks coz they looked so cute in their innocent-afraid-to-wake-me look. Apparently, their white shirts weren't ready yet from the to-be-ironed basket.

It was the first time they went about carrying what they were supposed to do by themselves today, without any voice raised and any scoldings. And we left for school earliest since dunno-when.

Actually, this sudden extreme change came about after yesterday's fuming morning.

I was fed up of waking up and getting everything ready for them while they took their own sweet time washing up while bickering among themselves, meimei complaining to me every single little thing didi did to her, and just, Grrr..... enough is enough!

I wanted a change. Since setting the alarm earlier by 10 mins from 6.20 to give them more time to prepare themselves doesn't seem to help, I made my mind to do the opposite and set the alarm for 6.45 instead. I told the kids that they would have no time to relax and quarrel, they would need to learn to quicken their pace else they would be late for school, and if they land up in the principal's office, I wouldn't be backing them up and would just tell him to do what he wants to do to punish them.

So they freaked out and had korkor set his handphone alarm so they wouldn't end up in that scary situation.

Sometimes we really have to work out different methods to make them work. Don't know how long this will last though, but I am so glad about the change of event this morning. Hope I am able to sleep longer from now on too. Only if they would keep their little voices down further!

Yesterday evening's big thunderstorm

It was a roaring thunderstorm yesterday evening over here in parts of the Klang valley.

We just had our dinner and korkor asked me why the lightning made the thundering sound. I frowned a bit and honestly answered I do not know (dang! don't that always make you feel stu...)

I was just about to tell him to google it up when he pointed out from his big book of "I Wonder Why" on a page of just about everything you probably wouldn't know or hadn't thought of wanted to know about lightning.

Ooh... I was so enlightened! I felt a sense of achievement when I read that paragraph about just the answer to his question. He asked me "You mean you really do not know why ah?" I frankly admitted yes, I do not know. Then I told him the answer is just right over here. He said he couldn't understand it, and I had the pleasure to explain to him what it meant.

He then counted the seconds of a lapse between a lightning and the sound and told me that the lightning was 1 km away. Apparently, 3 seconds lapse meant the distance of the lightning is roughly about that. This little guy is really a science guy. Interested in all science and facts stuffs. I feel proud that he's absorbing all these info and knowledge.

Then later, just when we were about to go for his tuition class, we were greeted with a fallen big tree that blocked the whole of the only road out of our condo. Some cars parked at the side of the road were smashed and I went down to check it out. There was no way anyone could drive in or out. It was a very ugly sight but I was so glad noone was hurt and we were safely at home when the big bad thunderstorm was happening.

Made a U-turn back, happily read some of the new books we acquired and tucked them to bed earlier into the night. I needed an excuse to skip going out and it was the very good reason for me to do so.

Table manners, chapter 295.

Often, I find it very irritating and rude when someone make a remark or comment about the food another someone cooked and served to him/her. Yes, one of them I know is my hubs. He's a terrible complimentor (no such word, but just so you know, it meant, someone who gives compliments) but a very good critic. He argues, he doesn't mean to criticize, it's just a comment to let the cook knows (of course not those in restaurants but people like me, or my mom or his mom).

There was once we all went balik kampung and his mama, as with any other mamas, was so delighted to see us all home, had cooked dinner for us. But in her hurry, probably she put too little water in the rice cooker and hence the rice turned out half cooked.

All the MEN in the household commented about the rice and she explained over and over again why it turned out that way. She wasn't agitated a bit, but why is it so, I was the one who felt that way?

I mean, come on la, people buy and cook and serve you with all her love as part of the ingredients, just eat la, can die not eating half cooked rice? I just don't see the logic of "just comment, not criticizing"

Yesterday, korkor commented on my dinner I cooked. He said, why only 2 dishes? For your information, even though it was 2 dishes, but there were minced pork, corn, and mushrooms in 1, so many varieties in just 1 dish!

Maybe I had been hiao lately and felt the joy of cooking up more than 2 dishes at a time. The last Sunday, I whipped up 4 dishes and a soup and I am proud to say, that dinner had totally revved up hubs' appetite as he commented he didn't have one just before dinner and yet, he refilled his bowl of rice. I was so mighty pleased but, no, he didn't praise me for that great awesome *ahem* sweet and sour koe-loe-yuk! He's like that, he thinks it's good enough for me to know he went for a 2nd serving.

OK, back to korkor. I was really furious! What kind of appreciation is that to a mom who went all the trouble and fuss to make a homecooked meal just so to have that kind of comment? I told him outright that it's utterly rude and he should learn to keep his opinion to himself in future, no matter who cooks for him.

I do think one shouldn't be a fussy eater, or even if one is born to be so, he/she ought not to give comments which are not flattering. Unless it's a praise, then only that should be out from the mouth!

And I think, he, MEN especially, need to be taught about THAT from a young age, just so he would appreciate his mama and his wife's cooking with all their love ingredient for him.

Adding to my books collection

These 2 days, I was on a book buying frenzy!

I wanted to get some new workbooks for the kids, since some had already been completed, but it wasn't the main purpose. Main thing, I wanted to get hold of the Diary of the Wimpy Kids for korkor, the last book (latest book) titled Ugly Truth.

He had been asking for them since I can't remember when, and I promised him that I'll complete his collection when his test was over, since I didn't want him to read it when he should be holding his schoolbooks! But there wasn't any paperback version available yet, and I had dragged on till 2 days ago, when I checked it out. He was so overjoyed when he saw the book. It only took him less than 2 hours to finish the book. You can imagine how excited he was! Maybe it's better this way! The longer he waits for something and the more he yearns for it, the more delighted and pleased he gets! Getting something too easily is not too good sometimes.

Since I was at the bookshop, I chose a novel for myself too as it was a long long time ago I was hooked on to a real book. I got the not so latest (I figured that out later) of J. Archer's Prisoner of Birth. Been at it since then and yes, it's very engaging!

Today, I was at Book Axcess the first time and I was overwhelmed! Looking at the shelves of books was so thrilling! But what really made me giddy with excitement was the price tags! OMG! They are so affordable! And I regretted that I paid, like, 3 times for the new novel where I can obtain from Book Axcess at 9.90! I felt so ripped off! Never gonna go any other bookshops to buy books! (except workbooks, ok!)

I was so happy I bought home the whole collection of Mr Men series specially for didi and meimei and some other children's books which are so colorful with interesting illustrations. Love it all!

When I went to the counter to pay, apparently, you can get free membership when you purchase 100 bucks and above, and with the membership, you get 5% off for any books you buy.

So, I asked the girl behind the cashier counter to screen the books up to the limit where I can get the membership first, then pay on the next bill for the balance. She said yes, and went tit tit tit... then told me, oops, you need another 18 bucks to reach 100 before you get the membership. Now the whole collection of Mr Men series costs 299.90, and should I go get another book to make up for it or switch the books so I pay Mr Men first, get member discount and then pay for the balance with the discount?

She suggested I pay the collection first, get the 20 bucks voucher, then only pay for the balance with the discount and the voucher. Quick! I had to do a fast mental calculation which one is better!

And I thought her suggestion makes more sense and went for it! Not quite sure if I was correct, but yeah, when I got home and counted it more calmly, it does save more money. After all, if I had grabbed hold of another book to make up 100 to claim for the 5% discount, I would only get 15 bucks savings for the collection. Instead, I had a 20 bucks voucher AND 4 bucks saved for the discount I get of those books I hadn't paid yet. You following me not?

Oh, I asked them how to qualify to get the 20 bucks voucher. It's their 4th anniversary, and they are giving out the voucher to every 200 bucks spent on books there. So, what are you waiting for? GO NOW!

I think I'm going there again next week!

My career path this far.

I retired when I gave my first birth, and that was 11 years ago. We came to that decision, as most of you ought to know already, because of my hub's working overseas.

On my last day of work, I can still remember very clearly how rejuvenated and glad I felt. Honestly, I really hated working. I hated going to the office, except for the dressing up part, I hated meetings, I hated reports deadlines, I hated presentations, stuck in traffic crawls, and most of all, I hated being so sleepy after lunch times!

Then again, retiring from a paid job to work on an unpaid job of 24 hours babysitting and housework chores without leave or MC wasn't easy at all. But I love it, at least.

After 6 years of the same routine, I was dying to make a change again. I was kinda tired to think about what to cook for lunch and dinner and cleaning up the mess at home which seemed to be endless.

So, I went back to work! Not a 9 to 5 job, it was flexible and I was excited to meet people again! My mom came over to stay full time with me, with a stay-in maid's help. Much too soon, I switched job and landed as a property agent for Sg Wang and BTS retail outlets.

After a few months, I realized it wasn't for me, as the job requires lots of evening time and weekends to socialize and get to know the owners and clients. I hated not being able to see my family at their only leisure hours.

Hence, I joined another venture very soon before eventually landed myself in my hub's office. There, I figured it was very tough working with him! It wasn't easy at all having to face him day and night! My gawd! I wanted to go home and just stay being a cook and a domestic maid!

Somehow, before that happened, I was involved in another business venture again and this time, it was the worst nightmare! F&B is really not an easy line to excel in, and I missed my kids A LOT more than I imagined! Basically, I wasn't there all the time when they were home and I was home when they weren't. Do I need to mention the public holidays and weekends? My hubs, too, wanted me to be home for him and the family.

I was so relieved I was out of that mess after some months, even though we lost a lot of money. A very expensive lesson learnt!

Just as I am happy to be the way things are now, handling children on my own, without a full time maid and my mom around to "jaga hati", I was, again, invited to explore on something else altogether. This time, I thought it's easy job and I did not have to sacrifice my time spending with family and said yes.

BUT..... OK! I have to admit, I AM NOT FIT WORKING!!

6 different types of work in 6 years!

I truly detest working!

I am best staying at home, raising up my kids with my bare both hands.

I have retired (AGAIN!) and I concluded, my expertise is really caring and teaching the kids. They need my attention and love, and I am really not good enough to be able to work and give them the same attention and care simultaneously! And the satisfaction that comes with seeing them grow each passing day is worth more than all the satisfaction I can get from work (which is very negligent, sad to say)

Every choice we make have their own price and sacrifices. I am not saying my choice is the best, just so I am clear, I am happy, the kids are happy and the hubs (maybe) not too happy. I do hope I would not realize, in future, I have made an awful wrong decision.

Korkor, didi and meimei, you had better be good!

Do I need them?

My hub loves going to exhibitions and fairs. He always pulls us along and initially, I thought he just wants to take advantage of the giveaways and prizes.

But I do admit, there are times it's not entirely so. Sometimes it opens our minds and eyes to just see what is new in the market. We got a few stuffs from these events, often at good bargains too.

I got a blender which is so convenient, easy to use and least fuss when cleaning that I believe it's the best purchase I ever made for the kitchen use. It's the only kitchen gadget I used most and almost daily.

The other day, we went to this MF Furniture and Furnishing Fair. Spent like almost a whole day there. We were almost *this* close to purchasing a robot which can clean the floor and double up as a vacuum cleaner and a food processor which whips up peanut paste, black sesame paste (both my favorite desserts), soya bean drink, red dates and wolfberry drink which tastes so good yet takes up only 20 mins to be ready. This processor stirs and cooks the ingredients at the same time and thus, does the job very well.

But each of these items costs a whopping RM1k+!

What do you think? Worth every cent of it?

Instilling values in them

I loved children.

Maybe I don't love them as much as I did last time. Or probably it's the kind of children we get these days.

They are too spoilt! They don't have to lift a finger to do any work, they whine and complain about trivial stuffs and yet, they get to go for holidays and treats at least once a year.

But heck, they are my children, and I still love them so much.

The other day, I had dinner with my kids and 2 others. 1 of them, 11yo boy, loved the steamed eggs so much that he kept on scooping it into his plate of rice. I said to him, "there are still others who hadn't taken the eggs yet, must leave some for the rest, you know?" He said that he loves it, it's his favorite dish and his granny would cook this for him all the time and let him have all he wants. I sure wanna slap that fler!

Then again, my kids might behave the same way too! *gasp* I am so used to filling their meals with the proper portion of each dishes served and they just have to finish them off. It's a habit which is rather hard to change, but I believe I ought to.

When they were young, I worried that they didn't take enough food or eat too much of one dish and not balanced and hence, I would just serve them what they need to finish up and usually they do, whether they love it or not.

But it doesn't teach them table manners, of how they shouldn't be taking only the food they like without leaving some for others or crossing hands when someone else is taking theirs or that they should be taking the food nearest to them preferably or digging inside the dish (NOT) for whatever part they wanted.

Sometimes I just catch korkor doing all those and it makes me mad. But who am I to blame but myself? Yes, I should stop this habit of serving their whole meal everyday like what I'm doing now.

Then there was this other time I asked korkor nicely to help me do a very simple chore while I was busy cleaning up after cooking dinner and serving them. He whined and complained and sighed that it fumed me up!

I gave them a piece of my mind later.

It's so important for them to learn, it's not how smart and how many As they get in their exams to go far and happy in their lives.

They don't need to do any single chore at all at home and yet! In fact, they should be asking me what they can help me to do while I busied myself tending to their needs. They would be turning into spoilt and useless brats very soon, just like other children who have maids to order around these days and they wouldn't know how to do or want to do anything when they grow up.

Please, my children, keep these few pointers in your mind..

1. To have good manners.
2. To be considerate of people around you
3. To appreciate the value of money and the importance of financial management.

I don't care so much whether you score straight As or get into the smartest class. I'll be proud of you anyhow as long as you have good morals and remember what I keep repeating.

My laptop is good as new again. yay!

I think I own this laptop since 2007 or 2008, can't remember very well, and changed 2 batteries so far. Recently, it had been moving at a very slow speed, like snail slowly making its way, sometimes taking long naps as and when it likes. I mean, it had slowly been getting "old" but the past few weeks were unbearably slow and stressed me out like crazy. And that was also part of the reason why I felt lazy to open it up and surf the internet as sometimes it just takes 30 mins minimum to load. So slowly I had been off the internet for awhile, only checking my mails and updates from the ever convenient Ipod touch.

Now that I can't tahan anymore, I had finally reformatted my C drive, after weeks of postponement. It took my several hours to complete the task and I'm loving it right now. As good as new again. It's like totally thrashing everything that was cluttering in the home and getting a bright clean sparkling feel once again. Hmm... can't wait to move into our new home too.

But got to find the programs to install back again. Guess I need Adobe Photoshop more than anything else.